GOURD TO CITY: DROP DEAD
Trump defunds police and infrastructure for New York City, state, and other places that didn't vote for him precisely because they knew he'd pull this kind of shit
Oct. 2: Trump freezes $18 billion in NY/NJ transit funds … Trump punishes blue states for defending poor people in red states … Judge blocks GOP from defunding the police in a dozen states, but what’s he gonna do, call a cop? … And it’s happening, folks, the FBI kicks off Yom Kippur by targeting, yes, we’re here now, say it with me: The Jews …
You can donate to TFN, score TFN swag, or find other ways to support TFN here.
Ed. note: Today’s headline is a call-back to the classic New York Daily News headline when Pres. Gerald Ford denied the city a financial bailout: FORD TO CITY: DROP DEAD. To achieve this callback, TFN indulged in denigration of Pres. Donald Trump’s personal appearance, which TFN typically endeavors not to do, but in my defense, it’s an appearance he apparently chooses to spray on every morning and I had to make the headline work somehow.
In all the news over Pres. Donald Trump’s impotent temper tantrum about the government shutdown, let’s not lose sight of what he didn’t do: Namely, the worst things that centrist Democrats claimed he wanted to do and would seize the opportunity to do, such as mass layoffs and eliminating Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.
As TFN has previously suggested, Trump’s poll numbers are already in the toilet where his plans should have gone, and even with Trump’s legendary, all-time stupidity he still recognizes that killing those programs will flush him. So, even though he still could do those things to force Democrats to heel, let’s note that he didn’t jump at the chance the way centrists claimed he would.
So, what is Trump doing now? The same thing he does every day: Try to take over the world Fuck himself over.
One month before New Jersey’s gubernatorial election — which is closer than expected by people who thought Rep. Mikie Sherrill (D-NJ) would inspire a popular movement in the state — Trump took a shot at New York City, America’s actual heartland, that would hit New Jersey, too.
The federal shutdown has frozen the Department of Transportation, but Secretary Sean Duffy chose to start the freezing with $18 billion allocated for two transit projects that literally include expanding the train tunnel that Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) take to work in DC.
But here’s the thing about tunnels: They don’t just connect one place. Trump is hurting New Jersey more than New York because those tunnels are primarily for New Jersey residents who work in New York. Oops.
But New Jersey gubernatorial candidate Jack Ciattarelli is now able to blame Sherrill for opposing a “bipartisan” spending bill because three Senate Democrats voted again Wednesday to extend Republican spending levels for seven weeks while Congress negotiates a deal Republicans refused to negotiate during the previous seven weeks:
Sen. Angus King (I-ME)
Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto (D-NV)
Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA)
FUN FACT New York City took a while — and a crack war — to bounce back, but now it’s fine. It’s Ford who dropped dead.
Trump Targets Other Democrats
Office of Management and Budget (OMB) Director Russell Vought (OMG) is about to become a lot more famous. Vought announced, but didn’t explain, $8 billion in new cuts (shutdown? revenge? who knows with these people) to energy (≠ oil) projects in 16 states: California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington.
Notice anything? Now do you notice anything…?
That’s right, the cuts only hit states with such low freakish-white-man-baby population ratios that they voted for Vice Pres. Kamala Harris. As Politico put it: “Vought has not publicly announced cuts that affected a state that backed Trump in 2024.”
Is this bad? Of course. But y’know what? Those blue states will be fine. They’re blue states. (Actually, two of them have Republican governors! And they’ve got Republican 34 members of Congress! All of whom Trump just fucked.)
In the meantime, Trump is tacitly acknowledging exactly what his party denies: Big government is good for people and good for politics. That’s why he’s denying it to his enemies.
NOW WHAT? The Urban Institute’s Yonah Freemark wrote on Wednesday, “It’s becoming difficult to hide that a major purpose of the Trump administration is siphoning tax revenues from Blue states and redirecting them into subsidies for Red states. At what point does this become intolerable?”
How about now? TFN votes for now.
The glorious thing about a tax rebellion — taxpayers refusing to fund the Trump government the way the Trump government refuses to fund America — is that Trump no longer has anyone at the IRS to do jack, jill, or they shit about it. Especially if millions rebel.
All we need now is a Democratic leader to announce that they’ll pass retroactive amnesty for nonpayment of taxes in affected states.
WORTH NOTING The reason Democrats are refusing to extend Republican spending levels is that Republicans set those levels without compromising to get the votes needed to keep them.
And it’s worth noting that Democrats are actually agreeing anyway to all of that spending with only one (1) exception: Health care.
And it’s worth noting as a note in our previous note that while Republicans are stripping funds from states that voted for Harris, the health care Democrats are fighting for is for all states.
If Democrats fail, Marcy Wheeler writes, here are the Obamacare premium hikes Republicans will unleash on just some of the states that voted for him:
Alaska: 346%
Louisiana: 150%
Mississippi: 314%
South Dakota: 235%
Tennessee: 320%
West Virginia: 387%
Wyoming: 382%
In other words, blue states — which already subsidize red states! — are now taking billions of dollars in hits for fighting to protect millions of the poorest people in red states.
ALLIES Even states that voted for Trump are turning on him. As Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT) posted on Wednesday…
BUT WHAT ABOUT **THE MONEY***?!? Shutting down the government could cost the U.S. $15 billion a week, the White House said in a new memo it didn’t release at any point in the previous eight months when it was shutting down the government more slowly.
Oh, so now shutting down the government is bad.
The shutdown could also lead to the loss of 43,000 jobs for every month it goes on, the Council of Economic Advisors warned the way it didn’t warn a couple months ago when Republicans could have compromised to get Democratic votes.
According to the council, the shutdown will reduce Gross Domestic Product (and also people’s quality of life) “through lower growth, higher unemployment, as well as disruptions to social security, air travel, and nutritional support to women with infant children.” Analysts believe the government shutdown could also impede Trump initiatives such as shutting down the government.
IN TRUMP’S DEFENSE The economy was already shedding jobs. Even without a shutdown, Trump single-handedly cost 32,000 people their jobs last month, according to a new estimate by ADP. Think about the math on that for a second:
Just having Trump in the White House for one month is 74% as bad for U.S. employment as shutting down the entire federal government.
THE WORKERS The Washington Post reports that without paychecks, an estimated 750,000 federal workers will have to “penny-pinch.”
And The Fucking News reports that penny-pinching is some pretty fucking trivializing language, because some of them will also have to doctor-not-see, bill-not-pay, medicine-not-take, evicted-be, and things-for-kids-not-buy.
Defunding the Police Is Okay If You’re a Republican
A federal judge on Tuesday blocked Pres. Donald Trump and Homeland (sic) Security Secretary Kristi Noem from defunding the cops in 12 states where Trump and Noem hate the cops.
Law-enforcement and first-responder grants were cut in half to states where Trump and Noem don’t like perfectly legal laws and policies that prioritize real crimes over bureaucratic paperwork misdemeanors such as not having immigration papers. Trump is trying to force states and cities to do what he’s done federally: Pull cops away from investigating real crimes and send them to break up law-abiding families.
As Gov. Kathy Hochul (D-NY) pointed out, the cuts include funding for counterterrorism efforts. In New York. Where people really value countering terrorism.
Hochul said, “[W]alking away from the fight against terrorism in the No. 1 terrorist target in America is utterly shocking.” Although, in fairness, is it really, anymore? This from the same people who lecture us to never forget.
Trump and Noem cut New York cop and firefighter money by $187 million, or 86%, far more than New York City’s soon-Mayor Zohran Mamdani (D-NY) has even been accused of secretly wanting to maybe try to attempt to build support for cutting.
And while cutting crime-fighting Trump’s also saying he’ll send in troops to deal with crime. Which they are not trained to do. And even they end up picking up garbage. Which they are not trained to do.
Basically, this is a massive bailout for Antifa and Black Lives Matter, which will now be free to run unchecked across blue states in a wild spree of, um, protesting fascism and supporting civil rights. (h/t)
Of course, the real crime here was committed by Noem. A judge last week said it would be illegal for DHS to allocate its grants based on Trump’s grudges against so-called sanctuary cities or states.
Noem did it anyway, like a recidivist. Which is weird, because I was told Trump eliminated crime in Washington.
Attacking Jews Is Okay If You’re Republican
In keeping with the Trump administration’s official anti-anti-fascism position, the Federal Bureau of Investigation on Wednesday confirmed that it’s now also against against anti-antisemitism.
FBI Director Kash Patel cut organizational ties with the right-leaning Anti-Defamation League (ADL), which tracks and reports on incidents of antisemitism except the administration’s. Right-wingers had criticized the ADL for including Turning Point USA and its now-dead leader, Charlie Kirk, in the ADL inventory of antisemitism.
Obligingly, the ADL adopted a new policy of anti-anti-some-defamation, and scrubbed Kirk and TPUSA, among 1,000 other references that the ADL will now forget to never forget.
But it was too late. And still too Jewish. So yesterday Patel posted that ADL was a “political front … masquerading as [a] watchdog.” See? First they came for the Jews—wait, that’s not how that goes!
As friend and fellow Substacker Jeff Sharlet posted:
“ADL, long drifting right, then galloping, still couldn’t keep up. This, right after they’d betrayed all Jews (says this Jew) by whitewashing Turning Point’s antisemitism to appease Trump admin. You know, the govt that claims it’s fighting antisemitism.”
The ADL’s website says it “works to protect democracy and ensure a just and inclusive society for all.” So, yeah, okay, I think I see the problem here. (h/t)
Anyway, get in line, ADL. Yeah, behind Soros.
Keep in mind, this is more than rhetorical. The administration has said it will target, pro/persecute nonprofits with the wrong politics. Which they just decided the ADL has.
And, let us never forget, this is the administration that’s fine with teaching the original sin of antisemitism: The smear that the Jews killed Jesus instead of the Romans. (Think about that: Two whole millennia in which we could have been directing our antisemitism against Italians instead. Jesus wept.)
Full-On Half-Assed Half-Time Half-Wits
Long-time Newsfuckers know that TFN hates to brag (ed. note: Untrue). But today TFN is honored to initiate you — and pretty much only you — into an extraordinarily elite group. Welcome, Newsfuckers, to the exclusive ranks of People Not Gaslit About That Super-Bowl Story.
One thing I can do thanks to your support is not take corporate media’s word for anything. Your support means I can take the time to track down primary sources. Especially if corporate media make my antennae go up.
You’ve probably heard that Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) will be at the Super Bowl next year now that Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, who performs as Bad Bunny, will be doing the half-time show. Martinez, I mean Bunny, is Puerto Rican and has previously said he’s not performing in the U.S. for fear ICE raids will target people at his concerts.
Then, on Wednesday, it was reported that Corey Lewandowski, long-time adviser to Pres. Donald Trump, said on some right-wing show that ICE would be at the Super Bowl. Now, what I’m about to tell you should count as a pro tip, but even the pros don’t do it. Newsfucking tip, maybe?
Newsfucking tip: If the news doesn’t quote the exact quote, be skeptical.
I couldn’t find a single account of Lewandowski’s appearance — and, no, I wasn’t gonna subject myself to listening to it — in which he actually says ICE will be at the Super Bowl. Try this at home, kids!
At best, all I could find was the host asking whether ICE would be there, and Lewandowski saying, “There is nowhere you can provide safe haven to people who are in this country illegally. Not the Super Bowl and nowhere else.”
That’s not announcing plans to be at the Super Bowl.
That’s specifically not saying yes and, apparently, not wanting to acknowledge that he has no fucking idea about ICE plans for April or March — or whenever the Super Bowl is1 — just two days after Bunny was announced. So, apparently, Lewandowski blustered.
When a simple question doesn’t generate a simple declarative answer, be skeptical.
Forbes went one step further, headlining that ICE would be on patrol. Why? Because someone at Forbes thought being at the Super Bowl and being on patrol there are the same thing. Newsfucker, they are not. A raid is not a patrol. An investigation is not a patrol.
How does this happen? This happens all the time. I can’t tell you2 how often I spend precious time tracking down a hot story and finding out someone Forbesed it.
It happens because untrained people — including J-school grads! — jump to the most exciting conclusions, and, yes, often assume that the most Trump-is-awful interpretation must be the right one because otherwise are you defending Trump?!?
And corporate media long ago swept out the costly, seasoned curmudgeons who’d look at new writers like the gum on the bottom of their shoe and say, “Point to the exact sentence where Lewandowski said ICE will be there.” And then go home and drink.
Four Quickies
Israel’s navy successfully fended off an attempt to smuggle illegal food and medical supplies into Gaza. Officials had feared that the contraband could be used to fight starvation. The navy this morning intercepted several vessels and captured international terrorist mastermind Greta Thunberg. The 500 detained terrorists included 24 Americans, European members of parliament, and even the grandson of Nelson Mandela, in case future historians like Marla McGivers and George Jetson have any trouble figuring out who the good guys are. I mean, where did Israel get the idea they can do whatever they want in international waters? Massive protests broke out throughout Europe, but not here where we’ve got our own problems, including a one-day general strike in Italy, but not here where ours is ongoing. (h/t)
Every government practices casual cruelty. Both parties cause collateral damage in pursuit of “order.” But there’s something so vile, Ahabian and Javertesque about the Trump administration’s perverse hounding of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the determination to exert power against a single human only because people are watching. On Wednesday, a Justice Department appointee
federal judge3 rejected Abrego’s challenge to his deportation, saying Abrego failed to prove that the administration threatened to send him to Uganda. Newsfuckers, on Aug. 25, the Dept. of Homeland (sic) Security posted, “He will be processed for removal to Uganda.”If you’re like me, and anonymous military criticisms of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s doopy speech are like Lays™ chips — betcha can’t eat just one! — well, crunch all you want. They’ll make more. (That’s right, I got two chip slogans in here!)
Hilariously, Hegseth’s response to the response to his speech is not to speech better or secretary our defense better, but to stop people from responding to his speech. He’s starting widespread lie detector tests in the Pentagon, including top brass, to make sure they kiss Hegseth’s top ass instead of leaking about him being an ass. Because polygraph questions must be yes/no, Hegseth’s questions are expected, by me at least, to include, “How’d you like my speech?” “How awesome was my speech on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being awesome and 10 being lethal awesome?” “Which part was best, haircuts or fat generals?” and, of course, “Please help me I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Taking Action
You can get info about and sign up for the general strike at GeneralStrikeUS.com.
The next round of No Kings rallies is October 18. You can find events at NoKings.org, and keep checking, because new events will get added.
TCB
TAKE ACTION WHILST ROCKING OUT Here’s a note from Tiffany, who just upgraded to a paid TFN subscription:
Thank you, Tiffany. You and other paid Newsfuckers are helping make sure no one hits a paywall when they read The Fucking News. Which doesn’t mean I’m above pandering to paid subscribers4, so I wrote to Tiffany for more info about this so-called “rockband.”
They’re called Triple — either to celebrate the three branches of government or because there’s three of ‘em — and you can check them out here. They are consciously working to inspire more bands to do what more bands should be doing:
Writing protest songs and thenceforth shredding said protest songs.
So, does Triple themselves do any protest songs? Let’s just say…No. I mean, literally, “No” is the name of their protest song. And if “No” catches on, maybe folks like Donald Trump and Pete Hegseth will learn what it means.
Triple’s planning Chicago-area gigs to support local candidates and you can follow along on Instagram here. Thanks again, Tiffany. Go get ‘em, three kids.
SUPPORTING TFN I’d never lie to you and say you, too, can be like Tiffany. But you can in one respect: By upgrading to a paid subscription and helping to amplify the music of TFN to the world.
TFN can only be here for you every day if enough Newsfuckers step up for TFN every day. If that’s you, today, thank you. E pluribus fuckem.
NEWSFUCKING IN THE WILD Catch me every Monday on The Nicole Sandler Show at 3:30pm eastern, for free, right here.
RESOURCES
Go get ‘em, kids! Remember, Ford dropped dead, while Triple is killing it…
TFN creator and writer Jonathan Larsen co-created Up w/ Chris Hayes and wrote for Countdown with Keith Olbermann at MSNBC, helped launch CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360° and Air America Radio, and has also worked at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Young Turks.
I know it’s not March or April, I just like to flaunt my sports ignorance and apathy.
Not because it’s a lot; I just don’t know.
I originally wrote “federal judge.” It was an immigration judge. Which isn’t a real judge. So I changed it to Justice Department appointee. Sorry about that.
I do pander to paid subscribers, but that doesn’t mean I don’t also do my best to pander to all subscribers. Just sayin’.
My wife and I placed a sign in our front yard that asks a simple question: “ARE WE GREAT YET?”
Yesterday, the USPS delivered to us an envelope addressed to “Occupant.” The anonymous note inside read, “Hey there, jerk!! The reason we are not great yet is because there are too many naive stupid dumb bastard liberal democrats (demoRATS) such as you. Congrats on your display of ignorance.”
Being a glass half full kind of guy, I took this a positive communication. We all agree that things ain’t great.
Baby steps.
"George Jetson," heh heh heh ::heggggspthhgh!:: (Sorry I was waxing phlegmatic).
Keep on, Fuqmeister.