Jesus Is Invisible…in the Jack Smith Report

Both the special counsel and Senate Democrats are turning the other cheek to theocracy

Jan. 14: Hegseth to testify he wants God’s will to be done … FBI didn’t interview Hegseth accuser … Neither did Dems … Johnson threatens wildfire aid unless California starts acting Republican …

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Ed. note: Shorter-than-usual TFN today, because I’m half-assing it. (I didn’t even write “It’s a” at the start of that sentence, that’s how slammed I am.) Given the more-than-usual amount of news today, that means today’s ass:news ratio is even worse than usual. The reason is that I’m 1½-assing the original reporting I’m working on about a nominee I can’t identify yet and I have to finish it by tomorrow because that’s when Marco Rubio’s confirmation hearing is. Ah, shit, I guess I identified him.

Special counsel Jack Smith and the House Jan. 6 committee were unable to find evidence of a significant Christian component to the Jan. 6 attack, seen above with no evidence of a significant Christian component. (Creative Commons/Flickr/Tyler Merbler)

The most damning words of special counsel Jack Smith’s just-released report on how then-Pres. Donald Trump tried to steal the country are the first five.

“In the fall of 2022…”

That’s when the investigation began. Nov. 18, to be specific. Of 2022. Almost two years after the nation watched video of Trump goading his followers to go to the Capitol and fight for their country him. Two years. To start an investigation that would’ve started the same day if the video showed a Black kid stealing a Zagnut.

Smith writes that Trump was not exonerated by the investigation and that he believes prosecutors would have won a conviction. The problem, of course, is the Justice Department policy against prosecuting presidents, a policy the Constitution doesn’t permit the Justice Department to have but Democrats do.

Jan. 6 experts, of whom TFN is not, will have plenty to say today about what the report reveals, so since we’re half-assing it today I want to focus on the single most damning thing about the report. It’s the words that aren’t in it.

• Christian

• Jesus

• Religious

• Theocratic

• Bible

God Himself is a footnote. Literally. The word “God” appears 18 times in Smith’s report, each time as a footnoted citation of then-Vice Pres. Mike Pence’s book “So Help Me God,” which became a best-seller thanks to Jesus Pence’s PAC spending $91,000 to buy copies of it.

Some of the most prominent groups involved in Jan. 6, though, were the Proud Boys and the Oath Keepers. Proud Boys may have started off as a modern-day He-Man Women-Haters Club but before Jan. 6 they embraced God to become the He-Man Women-Haters Jesus-Lovers Club. On Jan. 6 they prayed and invoked God. The Oath Keepers, too, intersected with Christian nationalism.

When Jacob Chansley, the QAnon shaman, reached a dais inside the Senate chamber, he prayed to Christ. (He later repented for the attack.)

District of Columbia police officer Daniel Hodges testified to the House Jan. 6 committee, “It was clear the terrorists perceived themselves to be Christians.”

The Washington Post reported that for some Jan. 6 attackers, the event was “a kind of Christian revolt.” That was July 2021, more than a year before Attorney General Merrick Garland deemed it worth investigating the leader of said revolt. Trump, that is, not Jesus.

There has been plenty of attention on the non-religious ideological forces that drove the revolt: Misogyny, homophobia, racism, dickishness, and fee-fees. Almost no mention of Jesus, however, who has more immunity than Trump.

As Americans United for Separation of Church and State rightly complained, “Christian Nationalism is barely mentioned” in the House Jan. 6 committee report, which others reported downplayed the religious elements. The Freedom From Religion Foundation and Baptist Joint Committee did an entire report focused on the Christian aspects of the effort to seize the government.

The invisiblizing of Jesus and the threat some of His believers pose to the country continues today with the Senate confirmation hearing of Pete Hegseth, the Fox co-host Trump has nominated to run the Pentagon and oversee a staff of three million.

CNN obtained Hegseth’s opening statement, in which he lets his Jesus flag fly as if it were on Samuel Alito’s lawn. From his prepared remarks:

“...as Jenny [his wife] and I pray together each morning, all glory—regardless of the outcome—belongs to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. His grace and mercy abound each day. May His will be done.”

Will any of the Democrats ask whether His will should be done if it conflicts with the Constitution’s will being done?

Here are the Democrats on the Armed Services Committee conducting Hegseth’s hearing:

• Ranking Member Jack Reed (RI)

• Jeanne Shaheen (NH)

• Kirsten E. Gillibrand (NY)

• Richard Blumenthal (CT)

• Mazie K. Hirono (HI)

• Tim Kaine (VA)

• Angus King (I-ME)

• Elizabeth Warren (MA)

• Gary C. Peters (MI)

• Tammy Duckworth (IL)

• Jacky Rosen (NV)

• Mark Kelly (AZ)

• Elissa Slotkin (MI)

Politico reported last night on what these Democrats plan to ask Hegseth. The answer: “...questions about sexual assault allegations, alcohol abuse and his competence to oversee a massive bureaucracy.”

I mean, yay, good! But considering that Politico just last month ran a lengthy piece headlined “Pete Hegseth’s Crusade to Turn the Military into a Christian Weapon,” you’d think someone might wanna discuss that, too.

And this isn’t just tendentious, academic moralizing — although I do love me some good, tendentious, academic moralizing. Hegseth is an avowed Christian crusader who literally chose to have the words “Deus Vult” (“God wills it”) written into his flesh.

So does no one want to ask Hegseth about his Christian military extremism that was too extreme for the military to let him guard the president? About the fact that one of Hegseth’s own fellow guardsmen wrote to their superiors about Hegseth and his “Deus Vult” tattoo:

“White-Supremacist use of #Deus Vult and a return to medieval Catholicism, is to invoke the myth of a white Christian (i.e. Catholic) medieval past that wishes to ignore the actual demographics and theological state of Catholicism today…

"Deus Vult has enjoyed popularity with members of the alt-right because of its perceived representation of the clash of civilizations between the Christian west and the Islamic world…

"[The tattoo] falls along the line of Insider Threat."

It seems worth asking whether a guy who believes that Armageddon is necessary for Jesus to return really ought to get the keys to America’s nuclear arsenal, or whether he might have a wee conflict of interest in deciding with Jenny every day whether today’s Armageddon day. But it’s not just Democrats.

The media are largely complicit in this Jesuswashing, too. Hegseth’s radical, anti-American Christian views got good scrutiny after his nomination. But the political-reporter coverage of the hearing and confirmation process has virtually ignored it, focusing more on Hegseth’s drinking.

But let’s consider why his drinking might be a problem. What’s he gonna do, start Armageddon? Because if starting Armageddon is the concern maybe ask him if sober Pete believes Jesus wants him to!

As big-shot columnist Walter Pincus wrote last year, Hegseth discussed Armageddon in an interview right around the time Jesus elected Trump. Discussing Russian President Vladimir Putin, Hegseth said, “I don’t think he’s a suicidal maniac who’s hell-bent on bringing on Armageddon to nuclear warfare.”

Okay, but, uh, do you know anyone who is?

Because when the interviewer asked Hegseth whether he was worried about a nuclear war, Hegseth answered, “Yes, in a general sense, I guess.”

You guess? Maybe give it some thought?

And we already know that Trump wants to use the military on American soil, which is where many Americans are. Christian radicalization within the military is a real and growing problem to which Democrats have turned a blind eye that Jesus has yet to heal.

The Democrats could ask Hegseth, how will you root out Islamic extremism in the military like that which drove a military veteran to drive onto Bourbon Street a couple weeks ago? And Democrats could follow that up by asking what will you do to root out Christian extremists in the military like the guy who blew up a Cybertruck in Las Vegas or like the Trump nominee who is you?

At around 10 last night — because I am always newsfucking for you Newsfuckers! – I asked Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF) President and Founder Mikey Weinstein about the prospect of Democratic senators ignoring Hegseth’s Christian extremism. (Most of MRFF’s clients, by the way, are Christian soldiers and sailors objecting to superiors forcing Christianity on them.)

Weinstein said, with an uncharacteristic and chilling lack of swear words:

“Failure to specifically confront the miserable wretch Donald Trump’s equally miserable wretch of a Defense Department secretary nominee about his complete embrace of despicably unconstitutional fundamentalist Christian nationalism extremism is tantamount to asking Mrs. Lincoln how she liked the play other than the assassination.”

And no one should think far-right Christians aren’t fighting the way Democrats aren’t. Hegseth’s financial-disclosure filing shows he’s literally been funded by the Christian far right, getting more than $5,000, for instance, to give a speech to the North Carolina Faith and Freedom Coalition. And a $10,000 “honorarium” from Charlie Kirk’s Turning Point USA.

The New York Times reports a loose coalition of far-right groups has been targeting wavering Republicans with retribution if they don’t back Hegseth.

That includes the Heritage Project — creator of the Christian nationalist Project 2025 — and the Article III Project. The latter is run by Mike Davis, former counsel to Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA), who’s no stranger to religious-based extremism.

BACKGROUND BACKGROUND Senate Democrats are making a stink about not getting to see the FBI report on Hegseth. My sympathy is wee.

For one thing, Democrats have denied Republicans the same thing. But also, why the fuck is the Senate still relying on the FBI?

The FBI basically rapewashed its report on now-Justice Brett Kavanaugh during Trump1.0, so why didn’t Senate Democrats stand up some mechanism for nominee investigations that they control and that will honor and pursue their priorities?

Yes, the FBI isn’t controlled by Republicans. Yet. But that doesn’t mean their Hegseth check addressed everything senators would’ve wanted.

FOR INSTANCE a la the Kavanaugh report, the FBI reportedly didn’t even talk to the woman who says Hegseth raped her. And she’s not alone in being left alone by the FBI.

Duckworth said, “Several of the witnesses were not interviewed by the FBI, even though they wanted to be.” Okay, but why didn’t you interview them?

OKAY, IT’S CALM-DOWN TIME Hegseth’s religious beliefs, luckily, are extraordinarily shallow and tied more to id than ideology. He believes in things that make him feel warm and safe inside.

His homophobia and misogyny caused problems for him in the Senate, so he mitigated them, walking back his most toxic positions. I don’t care whether it’s real or not, I care whether it’s mitigateable. That’s a good thing.

Also, it’s possible that Washington, DC, is doing what extremists hate about Washington, DC: Teaching officials that other people exist despite being different. Hegseth might genuinely be unlearning stupid things.

And even if Democrats do ignore Hegseth’s religious extremism, they could still shame some Republicans into rejecting Hegseth by asking him some devastating questions like, “How many sides does a pentagon have?” Or “What is a pentagon?”

There are other reasons not to freak out over Hegseth running the military. For one thing, if you haven’t heard, Trump will end all wars on day one, so Hegseth won’t have a lot to do. His primary adversary will be The Adversary. Better Hegseth’s fighting spiritual battles than real ones!

Also, the left has wanted America’s military might whittled down for decades. It’s arguably a massive tool (like Hegseth!) to project and protect American capitalism around the world, and it’s arguably what’s made us a target for terrorists more than anything else. What could you do to the U.S. military that’d be worse than giving it to Pete Hegseth?

Three Quickies

• Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) says Congress should probably hold California wildfire relief funds for ransom. Naomi Klein’s book “The Shock Doctrine” chronicled capitalism’s Invisible Hand using disasters and the ensuing need for help to impose extractive capitalism on helpless under-developed countries, of which we are now one. Johnson, of course, prefers theocracy over science when it comes to the climate change that worsened the wildfires. And, in fairness, if wildfires are an act of God, wouldn’t opposing them be an act of Satan? (God and Satan had no comment, but a source close to Satan who wished to remain anonymous told TFN, “You watch: Johnson’s gonna cave, or my name isn’t Jeffrey Epstein.”)

• Still-Pres. Joe Biden yesterday announced the names of America’s next two nuclear-powered submarines:

  - The USS William J. Clinton

  - The USS George W. Bush

  I know. I know.

• Remember the stock-market surge after Donald Trump won re-election? It’s all been reversed as stupid Wall Street bros learn things.

TCB

TRANS ISSUES Any Newsfuckers out there read Romanian? Or Korean? HMU!

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