The Coach vs. The Couch

Governor debates writer known for fiction about cat-eating and couch-fucking

The first and only vice-presidential debate of the 2024 presidential race — and at this moment the final scheduled debate of any of the candidates — will be held 9pm eastern time on Tuesday, aired by CBS and live-streamed everywhere.

Until former Pres. Donald Trump picked him as the Republican vice-presidential nominee, Sen. JD Vance (R-OH) was best known as a writer.

His one book, of alleged non-fiction, was his alleged memoir, “Hillbilly Elegy.” More recently, Vance has attained even greater fame as a purveyor of other people’s fiction: a horrific story about Haitians eating cats, and a far more horrific story about him fucking a couch.

Until Vice President Kamala Harris picked him as the Democratic vice-presidential nominee, Gov. Tim Walz (D-MN) was best known for not being at all well-known.

Before running for vice president, Walz was best known as an experienced federal legislator who achieved a number of progressive policy successes as the governor of Minnesota.

On Tuesday night, they’ll face off each other for the highest possible stakes, the presidency, the future of this country, and quite possibly the planet.

Here’s a biased but factual rundown of what the two men bring to this historic face-off: