Trump Absolutely Shitty at Intel (Both Kinds)
On the intel justifying military endeavors overseas and at home, Trump is a 100% moron
Sept. 29: EXCLUSIVE: The source of Trump’s Venezuela intel exposed … The source of Trump’s Portland, OR, intel also exposed … Both sides at fault for looming shutdown on which one side refuses to negotiate … Noem fast-tracks disaster relief after donor request …
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Science has long recognized Pres. Donald Trump as the single, absolute, stone-cold, rock-bottom, all-time, unrivaled, world-record, Guinness-book dumbest, outlet-forking, traffic-playing, metal-microwaving, his-own-victim-defaming, business-frauding, eclipse-staring, frozen-lamppost-licking, wild-animal-vexing, sharp-fingernail-nose-picking, Hegseth-appointing, Epstein-palling, pube-signing president in a U.S. history replete with stiff competition.
But it turns out Trump is absolutely shitty at both kinds of intelligence. Both his own and the other kind, the information and analyses gathered by the U.S. intelligence community for him to process through the lump of moldy gouda he calls a brain.
Venezuela
In an exclusive report last night, over on my other Substack, I revealed the identity of a key source of Trump’s alternative intel on Venezuela. Trump has claimed that the Venezuelan regime trained and deployed Tren de Aragua here as a covert army, justifying extraordinary, war-time, war-crime presidential powers. His own intelligence community has rejected this assessment.
But now we know where Trump got it — and is still getting it — and the situation is looking a helluva lot like the Iraq War, which was precipitated in part by an Iraqi proponent of regime change, codenamed Curveball, who fed the U.S. bad intel. Or good intel, if you’re Vice President Dick Cheney and you like bad intel.
The identity of the other source, ex-CIA officer Gary Berntsen, was revealed months ago but has been largely ignored by corporate and even indie media. I wrote about him here.
Berntsen’s partner, as I wrote on Sunday, is Martin Rodil. As Bloomberg wrote in 2016, Rodil is a “fixer.” He’s a Venezuelan native who makes his living helping his dissident clients convince the U.S. government their intel on the regime is good enough to let them skip prison and keep “their” money.
In other words, Rodil’s sources have all the conflicts of interest. And that’s who Trump’s getting his intel from.
And this matters because this is the poisoned tree from which Trump is getting his illegal deportations, war-crime boat bombings, and military escalation.
Dear Newsfuckers,
We interrupt your regularly fucked newsfucking for a special announcement. I’d like to ask for your help. I’m going to spend today sending my Venezuela story around. It takes a lot of work to get my reporting the attention it would get automatically if it were in the New York Times. So I’m asking if you can help out by sharing my report far and wide, preferably with your own comments about it.
I’ll also be threading it later today on Bluesky and Twitter if you want to boost those. Doing this reporting and pushing it takes a whole lot of time that could otherwise be spent doing lucrative outrage-bait. In other words, it literally costs me to do this work. If you want to be a part of supporting it, thank you.
Aaand we’re back! I know, I know, I’m hopelessly naive to think Trump is using confirmation-bias intel out of stupidity instead of malice. So allow me to introduce Exhibit Batshit:
Portland, OR
Trump on Sunday ordered Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, through the standard protocol of a social-media post, to…
“…provide all necessary Troops to protect War ravaged Portland, and any of our ICE Facilities under siege from attack by Antifa, and other domestic terrorists. I am also authorizing Full Force, if necessary.”
Good thing he added “if necessary,” because “full force” means Trump hasn’t taken nukes off the table to take War ravaged Portland off the map.
Trump said he was acting “At the request of Secretary of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem,” who was obviously acting at the request of Trump who obviously requested the request because Noem announced zero (0) intel to suggest Portland is under siege or even awkwardly next to siege.
Hilariously, war-torn Portland mobilized faster than Hegseth’s warrior-ethos warriors did. Protesters took to the streets to protest troops who hadn’t arrived yet. Hegseth said he’s sending 200 troops, an almost quaint number to quell an entire war let alone end The Siege of Portland by Antifa hordes.
And the Oregon government lawyers drew first blood with a barrage of facts and legal shit in their lawsuit to block a federal deployment. Gov. Tina Kotek (D-OR) did what other Democratic governors have done: Said outright that such a deployment would violate the law.
Because it can’t be iterated, re or otherwise, often enough, if Trump’s order is unlawful, that means U.S. troops from the brass on down have a sworn obligation not to obey it. Which means Democrats including Kotek should absolutely today be putting General Gregory M. Guillot, who leads U.S. Northern Command, on notice to refuse to comply now that a judge has already kindly clarified that invading Los Angeles was, yes, illegal.
Enragingly, CNN reports that most protests at the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) facility were peaceful, but that some “have ended in the deployment of tear gas.” I wonder who it is deploying the deployment of tear gas! Hint: It ain’t Antifa that the protests have ended in the deployment of tear gas of.
Which means the violence hasn’t come from passive resistance, it’s come from the cops whose violence still counts even if it’s in the passive tense.
So where did Trump get his shitty intel on The Siege of Portland? Newsfucker, it wasn’t even Berntsen and Rodil. NBC’s Portland affiliate KGW8 reports — as virtually no other corporate media seem to have — that Trump told NBC White House Correspondent Yamiche Alcindor on Sunday that he had discussed The Portland War with Kotek, who told him, dude, wake up, everyone’s chill but you. Paraphrasing.
“I spoke to the governor, she was very nice,” Trump told Alcindor. “But I said, ‘Well wait a minute, am I watching things on television that are different from what’s happening? My people tell me different.’ They [Antifa?] are literally [sic] attacking [sic] and there are fires [sic] all over the place...it looks like terrible.”
In other words, Trump is getting his Portland intel from a device known for decades as the idiot box and the boob tube. And it turns out that Fox, the idiot box’s boxiest idiot, home of the boob tube’s boobiest boobs, has been showing old video of violence in Portland in its coverage of currently actually peaceful Portland.
NOT THAT IT MATTERS BUT IT’S KIND OF AWESOME I have no idea whether Trump knows this — and, Jesus, no one tell him — but I had totally forgotten that Kotek is a lesbian and has been out for years, most of her career.
Go get him.
FEDS BEING INVESTIGATED FOR CRIMES Almost as if no one is above the law, federal crimes are finally being investigated like crimes.
Y’know how your ass would go to jail if you shot pepper rounds at a car, injuring the person inside? Well, that’s what a federal agent or agents did on Sunday, opening fire during a non-situation with no one else around at a local CBS News van doing nothing illegal or threatening except journalisming.
Well, now that unidentified, masked, chicken-shit, role-playing federal fucker is gonna have to answer to those defenders of democracy …
… the Broadview, Illinois, Police Department, motherfuckers! They’ve opened an investigation. (h/t)
And Chief Thomas Mills put the gang of federal criminals on notice: “The Broadview Police Department expects the full cooperation of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security into our criminal investigation.” Do ya feel lucky, punks?
(Welcome to Antifa, Broadview, IL, Police Department!)
Democrats, Republicans Equally at Fault in Shutdown Where One Side Won’t Negotiate
Pres. Donald Trump today will host a meeting with congressional Democratic leaders Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) and congressional Republican followers Sen. John Thune (R-SD) and Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA).
The topic is a bill that Republicans crafted to extend spending levels that they voted on without any Democratic input. With a shutdown looming Tuesday at midnight, Republicans can’t pass any new funding without Democratic help.
But Republicans say they won’t compromise, negotiate, dialogue, brainstorm, collab, bluesky, or even interface. Meaning, they just might have to circle back and touch base later.
Today’s talks, Thune told the Washington Post, are just for Trump to explain why Democrats should do what he wants. Because fuck the millions of people whose health insurance Democrats are trying to save.
Now, what did we learn in Journalism 101 about how to headline a situation where one party says beforehand they won’t compromise or negotiate?
I’m inclined to think the pain of a shutdown could mitigate future pain if popular blowback scares Republicans into helping people, but I understand the Democratic imperative to rescue people who are in the medical/financial crosshairs now because not enough of us voted a year ago.
But either way, when we read the headlines about both sides digging or sticking or whatever, let’s remember that Democrats are dealing with a party and a president illegally refusing to spend the money allocated the last time Democrats caved.
NOT JUST THE SHUTDOWN Also ending Tuesday with the end of the fiscal year are all those buyouts that government cosplayer Elon Musk — remember him? Y’know, from The Epstein Files™? — brilliantly engineered early this year.
All those paid-off laid-off workers who aren’t already gone will be gone as of midnight Tuesday. By then, an estimated 275,000 workers will have retired or taken a buyout. More than 154,000 were no longer working but still getting paid this summer.
And now all those job losses are about to ripple through the economy like a shart you felt coming six months ago but still didn’t plan for.
Trump Donates $20 Billion in Taxpayer Money to Argentina Political Campaign
Pres. Donald Trump is donating $20 billion of your tax dollars to help a political ally retain legislative control in next month’s elections.
The Treasury Department last week said U.S. taxpayers — your name wasn’t mentioned specifically — will spend $20 billion to buy bonds from Argentina, to help President Javier Milei pay down his nation’s debt. In other words, America just went further into debt so Argentina could get lesser into debt.
According to Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, the your money will give Milei “a bridge to the election.” Got that? We’re buying a metaphorical bridge to help Trump’s buddy instead of building real bridges to help Americans. How come?
Because America First doesn’t mean not-Argentina Primero! And MAGA should be thrilled that their food aid and health-care programs have been put to better — nay, more patriotic — use: Bolstering Trump’s buddies.
Of course, this is the same administration that spent most of this year killing foreign aid that went for silly shit like preventing disease and starvation for millions.
Hilariously, and stupidly (see first story), while Trump was putting his pube-looking signature on that check last week, Argentina was dropping its export tax to encourage China to buy Argentinian soybeans — costing U.S. soybean farmers the world’s biggest market.
Kentucky soybean farmer Caleb Ragland told the Post, “We are uncompetitive in that China market due to government policy. On the other hand, our government gives that financial bailout to a foreign country who in turn makes their prices more competitive and sells into a market that we’re unable to access.”
Nice to get it right for once, soybean farmer whose campaign contributions I looked up and who gives to Republicans!
Remember, MAGA farmers, in Argentina, “soybean” just means “I am bean.” And now you are, too.
IT’S NOT WHAT YOU KNOW, IT’S WHO YOU NOEM ProPublica reports that Argentina isn’t the only one cutting MAGA in line for federal aid.
While Texas and North Carolina have been pleading for help from the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), Homeland (sic) Security Secretary Kristi Noem has been swinging into action to help … her donor.
Naples, FL, has been requesting money to repair an historic pier damaged by Hurricane Ian in 2022. Trump’s layoffs slowed the process even more. So Naples Mayor Teresa Heitmann texted a big Noem donor to ask for his help.
“Okay. I will get on it,” he said. He texted Noem on Aug. 11. On Aug. 27, FEMA told Naples the money was coming. On Aug. 29, Noem flew to Naples for a 30-minute walk-through of the pier.
And a nail salon appointment.
And dinner at Bleu Provence with her donor.
And a weekend stay at the four-star Naples Bay Resort & Marina.
Here’s a look at the pier. Which the impoverished town of, um, Naples, FL, will now get $11 million to fix.
Jeffries Finally Weighs in on New York Mayoral Race
House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) on Sunday finally spoke up about the New York City mayoral race, praising the courage of and progress achieved by not the Democratic Party nominee, but the corrupt incumbent.
Current disgraced Mayor Eric Adams dropped out of the race on Sunday, inspiring Jeffries to praise him without explaining why he didn’t endorse Adams if Adams is so fucking great. That leaves two (2) Democratic candidates:
One is Assembly member Zohran Mamdani (D-NY), the Democratic nominee.
The other is disgraced former Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY), rejected by the city’s Democratic voters for being a sex pest, sending old people to Covid incubators, handing Republicans the House of Representatives via state gerrymandering, killing untold numbers of progressive bills, and/or being the favorite candidate of New York landlords including but not limited to Donald J. Trump.
Jeffries said he’ll make this super-hard decision before early voting starts next month. So there’s still a shot, perennial Republican candidate Curtis Sliwa!
Fine, TFN Will Discuss The Big Pentagon Meeting
Part of the service we offer here at TFN is ignoring — for you, the consumer — stories there’s no point obsessing over just because something might happen. Might Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth do something terrible connected to tomorrow’s unprecedented gathering of top-ranking military brass? Yes.
Might he do something terrible without it? Also yes.
So, what do we know? A few things, all fun.
Eight-hundred generals and admirals, with one or more stars, will converge on Quantico, VA, on Tuesday for a speech by Hegseth. What about?
More of Hegseth’s cartoonish “warrior ethos” bullshit — even though vastly more of the U.S. military is tasked with logistics and management than hand-to-hand combat. Also on Hegseth’s to-macho list: Grooming.
According to Politico, Hegseth will “discuss grooming, standards and his ‘warrior ethos’ vision.” Because what screams “warrior ethos” more than fastidious personal hygiene and sartorial snappiness?
In other words, by all accounts it’s just more performative military cosplay.
Hilariously, Hegseth’s big moment is getting bigfooted big time by the big cheese. Pres. Donald Trump is showing up. Why? Presumably because he was asked about it, didn’t know about it, thought it sounded cool, and said what the fuck. So much for Hegseth’s big moment.
Taking Action
You can get info about and sign up for the general strike at GeneralStrikeUS.com.
The next round of No Kings rallies is October 18. You can find events at NoKings.org, and keep checking, because new events will get added.
TCB
SUPPORTING TFN As I mentioned up top, I’ve been focused on my reporting about Trump’s Venezuela intel. That’s meant much fewer inspiring TFN Bonus Stories (the kind that inspire people to support TFN).
Original reporting exposing the corruption of Trump’s casus belli doesn’t get people to upgrade their subscriptions. I get it, it’s depressing stuff. But I believe it helps in the long term, by arming the people with information to push back. That’s why I do it.
But I can only do it with your support. I don’t paywall my reporting. I don’t get secret dark-money subsidies. I don’t have another gig. This is it. This is what I do. That’s possible because of your support. I hope you’ll check out my reporting — get comfortable, it’s a lot — and if you think it was worth doing, I hope you’ll consider supporting it with a donation or paid subscription. E pluribus fuckem.
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RESOURCES
Go get ‘em, kids! Remember, fascism is a lot easier to beat when it’s carried out by morons…
TFN creator and writer Jonathan Larsen co-created Up w/ Chris Hayes and wrote for Countdown with Keith Olbermann at MSNBC, helped launch CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360° and Air America Radio, and has also worked at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Young Turks.
Thanks! I just quoted some of this in my call to Durbin’s office a moment ago (and in the email I just sent to him). I am super pissed about most everything these days, but the Argentina, Venezuela stuff is so wrong it’s hard to stay calm. Add the effing ballroom and gold and where are my blood pressure pills?
*Also on Hegseth’s to-macho list: Grooming.*
Speaking of Grooming: release the Epstein Files(TM)!!