Trump Violates Constitution By Cosplaying as Super-Boss of Voting
Corporate media mistake executive order for world's most powerful Magic: The Gathering card
Mar. 26: Trump signs executive order without magic pen that would give it actual power … Economic confidence down on streets Main and Wall … TFN exclusive: Hegseth lied about Houthi attack … Energy Dept. eyes keeping green Biden money (for red states) …
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Pres. Donald Trump yesterday violated the constitutional edict giving states the power to run their own elections. He signed an executive order that claims the power to overrule federal law and state autonomy and will be challenged and likely blocked in court.
According to the (non-binding, non-real, non-serious) executive order, voters would have to prove their citizenship before they could vote. And Trump ordered the Election Assistance Commission (EAC) to do a number of things he cannot legally order the EAC to do, as if TFN had signed an executive order directing Santa Claus to obey local speed limits.
Despite Trump’s stunning, impeachable violation of his oath of office and the obvious illegality of what he was attempting, corporate media treated the news as if his fantasy wish list were a done deal — and as if his law-breaking weren’t the most newsworthy thing about his pen-wielding.
The headlines should have said something like “Trump Violates Constitution By Cosplaying as Super-Boss of Voting” but instead we got, well, this kind of shit…
The news isn’t that Trump just magically changed the rules of voting. If Trump signed an executive order slapping tariffs on Uranus, the headline wouldn’t be “Interplanetary Trade War Begins,” it’d be that Trump was so far up his own ass he could see Uranus.
Or the headline could be that Trump is trying to strip Americans of a right they’ve had since…well, that actually depends on how non-white or non-male they are, but you Newsfuckers get the point: Trump is trying to deny Americans the right to vote if they don’t jump through his hoops.
You do not have to prove you’re entitled to your rights.
The government has the burden to prove you are not.
The (current) federal voter-registration form explicitly says that all you need to do is prove your ID:
Yesterday’s order, in Trump’s mind, says that even birth certificates would not be accepted as proof of citizenship (which you don’t actually have to prove). Instead, in Trump’s Make-Believe Land, you have to have a passport or, in some states, a driver’s license.
That alone would rob millions of people of the right to vote. Why? Some people don’t drive. And with Transportation Secretary Sean “So far, so good” Duffy at the helm, some people definitely don’t fly.
The order also pretend-commands states not to count mail-in ballots received after Election Day. Which, again, when you’re ranking stuff for newsworthiness: Constitutional violation > “I for real ordered a state thing because I’m a real president!”
The lawsuits are already in the works against this, and you can read more from Democracy Docket here. And don’t forget to register to vote!
Trump’s Cosplay as “Business Leader” Fooling Fewer Americans
The alarm bells are sounding for the Trumpconomy.
On both Wall Street and whatever’s left of our hollowed-out, desiccated Main Streets.
On Main Street, the Conference Board yesterday issued a new estimation of consumer confidence, seen here:
Specifically, the Consumer Confidence Index fell 7.2 points to 92.9, which apparently is bad on this made-up scale of subjective shit.
More importantly, though, consumer confidence is lower than it’s been since January 2021. Meaning, consumer confidence through the entire four years of Pres. Joe Biden’s term in office never fell lower than it was the month Trump left office, and two months after Trump returned to office.
As you can see, the past 20 years is a manic merry-go-round of Americans electing Republicans, Republicans coasting on Democratic economic inertia, Republicans fucking it up, Americans losing their confidence in the economy, Americans electing Democrats, and Americans regaining their confidence.
Low consumer confidence means restrained consumer spending. Which drags down the economy. Which lowers consumer confidence. And also reduces government revenues. Which makes it harder for America to pay off its debts. Which reduces Wall Street confidence.
Which is already down, according to Moody’s. A new report yesterday from the credit-rating agency doesn’t give Trump a lot of credit. America’s “fiscal strength is on course for a continued multiyear decline,” Moody’s said.
And even America’s towering economic resilience might not be enough to overcome what Moody’s called in very different words, Trump’s stupicidal, rabid-clown, judo-chopping, fork-in-outlet self-fuckery.
Or, as Moody’s put it: “The potential negative credit impact of sustained high tariffs, unfunded tax cuts and significant tail risks to the economy have diminished prospects” for America to overcome the drag of its deficits and debt.
Moody’s said, “In fact, fiscal weakening will likely persist even in very favourable economic and financial scenarios,” while silently mouthing the phrase, “because Trump has less intelligence or strategic capacity than a Boston Terrier trying to eat its tail1.”
EXCLUSIVE: Hegseth Lied About Houthi Attack
As TFN exclusively reported last night, the day after the March 15 attack on Yemen’s Houthi rebels, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth went on Fox and lied about it. Because that’s what Fox is for.
Hegseth told Fox’s gullible audience that the airstrikes were in America’s national interest. We now know, however, that two days before his Fox interview, Hegseth agreed in a less-secret-than-he-thought group chat that the U.S. was bailing out Europe with the airstrikes.
And when he told Fox’s viewers that America just had to do the airstrikes because Pres. Joe Biden was so bad at Houthi-stopping, Hegseth did not mention that two days before he said they’d have to blame Biden because it would be too “tough” to convince the American people of their real reason (to prove that Donald Trump’s penis is enormous and pretty but also manly).
ALSO The nonpartisan watchdog group American Oversight is suing Hegseth, National Security Adviser Mike Waltz and most of their illegal Signal coffee klatch.
The lawsuit asks a federal court to declare all their Signal communications — not just the ones they sent to The Atlantic! — subject to federal record-keeping laws. Meaning, the Trump officials will have to preserve all their government-related Signal communications — and right fast, too, since some of the messages were set to auto-delete.
The suit also asks that the matter be referred to the Justice Department so that it can not do anything about it.
MEANWHILE The Financial Times editorial board yesterday published an editorial by, um, them, with the headline “The amateurism of the Trump White House.” (Remember this next time you hear Democrats talking about how great it is for high-level federal candidates to have no experience in government.)
The editorial concludes, “Donald Trump is doing enough harm to US standing in the world without adding dangerous ineptitude to the list.” Do they not recall that dangerous ineptitude was part of his campaign platform?
And when we talk about amateurism, consider an aspect of all this that the corporate media have virtually ignored because Europe: Trump specifically ordered cost estimates for the Houthi airstrikes so he could stick Europe with the bill, arguing that he was bailing them out.
But Hegseth was on Fox the very next day saying this was for America’s “core national interest.” Were they hoping Europe doesn’t watch Fox? Which, I mean, they don’t, but they do read The Fucking News!
So when Trump hit them with the bill, Europe could rightly say: “You told your voters this was for America. Shall we hold a joint news conference to discuss your new position that you were bailing out us Europeans?” What would Trump say then?
MORE ALSO Can someone explain to me like I’m a journalist why journalists are upset that the government is bad at keeping secrets? I mean, isn’t bad secret-keeping what journalists should want in a government, especially an autocratic one that rejects fundamental principles of American governance and human rights?
Trump Weighs Keeping Green Energy Projects in Red States
The Department of Energy is considering what to do about $7 billion in Democratic funding to develop hydrogen as an alternative energy source, and is weighing a proposal to keep the money for red states and withdraw it from blue states, Politico reported this morning.
The money was allocated under Pres. Joe Biden for seven hydrogen-hub projects. Politico obtained an internal Energy proposal divvying the projects up as “cut” or “keep.”
Energy Secretary Chris Wright is the former CEO of Liberty Energy, a massive fracking company. And there was, shall we say, a pattern to where the hydrogen cash would be allowed to keep flowing, given which states are dominant in each hub:
Cut:
ARCHES hub (California)
Mid-Atlantic hub (Pennsylvania, Delaware, New Jersey)
Midwest hub (Illinois, Indiana, Michigan)
Pacific Northwest hub (Oregon, Washington, Montana)
Keep:
Appalachia hub (Ohio, Kentucky, West Virginia, Pennsylvania)
Heartland (sic) hub (Minnesota, South Dakota, North Dakota)
HyVelocity hub (Texas, Louisiana)
The proposal could get torpedoed, of course. When you mix green and red, after all, you get brown. And we know how Pres. Donald Trump feels about brown.
Congressional Democrats Launch New Group to Combat Image of Fecklessness It Perfectly Embodies
A bunch of congressional Democrats yesterday announced the creation of a new, informal group dedicated to putting the party back on the right track by reminding everyone why they hate it before fading rapidly into obscurity.
The group of Democrats calls themselves New Economic Patriots, and not just in a leaked Signal chat, but publicly, on purpose, where people might see. Spearheaded by Rep. Chris Deluzio (D-PA), its goal is to present the party’s “fighting spirit of economic populism.”
And Deluzio said, “The era of a spineless Democratic Party must end.” However, the ableist Deluzio lacked sufficient metaphorical spine to say the word “Hell” out loud. Instead, he said, “Too many in our party have lost their way and it’s time to wake the heck up,” according to The Freaking News.
Three Quickies
There’s apparent movement in talks to lower the temperature between Russia and the country where it forcibly raised the temperature by invading. Reportedly, Ukraine and Russia and the U.S. are moving forward on terms that would limit attacks by both sides on energy infrastructure and on Black Sea navigation. Reading the ifs and caveats, however, made my head hurt, so we’ll wait to give this more attention as things get a little clearer and my headache goes away.
Former North Dakota Republican state Senator Ray Holmberg was a longtime chair of the state Senate’s Appropriations Committee. He oversaw gerrymandering to disenfranchise Native American voters, remaining popular with the Republicans who control the legislature and serving as an elector for Donald Trump. U.S. Sen. John Hoeven (R-ND) said Holmberg “has left his mark on Grand Forks and North Dakota…to benefit students.” Sen. Kevin Cramer (R-ND) cited Holmberg’s “rare ability to amass friends while amassing power.” Anyway, today Holmberg will be sentenced for traveling to other countries to pay for sex with underage homeless boys and other sex crimes with other children, only one of whom is known to have killed himself.
In 2026, a year when the Senate map looks pretty tough for Democrats, new polling suggests they might actually have a chance to unseat one Republican who’s historically proved ununseatable. The new poll finds that 61% of registered voters disapprove of how Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) is representing them in Maine. She’s underwater with Vice Pres. Kamala Harris voters, Pres. Donald Trump voters, and Independents. Only 24% approve, but they’ll come around eventually. Rep. Jared Golden (D-ME), one of the few House Democrats to vote with Republicans at times, is unlikely to challenge Collins for the seat because he used to work for her.
TCB
CONFESSION At some point recently while sucking up to Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) for staging their “Fighting Oligarchy” rallies, I gave the false impression that the Democratic Party wasn’t doing anything similar. Well, yesterday, I read that the party did, in fact, launch “People’s Town Halls” in districts of vulnerable Republicans.
So, my apologies to Democrats for missing that (although knowing me I would’ve just mocked the Dems for not creating any buzz with those events) and my apologies for misleading you Newsfuckers.
NEWSFUCKER DU JOUR Apparently not aware that I had fucked up about the Democratic rallies, today’s Newsfucker Du Jour said that she upgraded to a paid TFN subscription because I tell the truth. Oops.
Thank you, Cindy! I do try to tell the truth, and if I find out I fucked up, I do try to make it right. Here at TFN we see journalism, like science, as a process, a method for seeking the truth. When we fuck up, we fix it, and strive to do better.
If that’s what you want from your journalism, and if you appreciate TFN challenging corporate narratives on everything from Trump’s election interference to amateur-hour Signal chats, please consider supporting TFN with a paid subscription.
You can also support TFN by sharing it with prospective Newsfuckers, by making a one-time donation, or by picking up some swanky swag at the swanky TFN swag shop. Thank you, however you fuck the news.
ELECTIONS
April 1: House of Representatives (Florida-1) — Democrat Gay Valimont vs. Republican Jimmy Patronis.
April 1: House of Representatives (Florida-6) — Democrat Josh Weil vs. Republican Randy Fine.
April 1: Wisconsin state Supreme Court — Democrat Susan Crawford vs. Republican Brad Schimel.
TAKING ACTION Upcoming events/actions:
Today-Friday, March 28: Nestlé Blackout (water wars, child labor)
Today-The Second Coming: Tesla boycott.
Friday, March 28: Economic Blackout #2
April 7-13: Walmart Blackout (‘nuff said)
April 18: Economic Blackout #3
April 21-27: General Mills Blackout
RESOURCES
Mental reassurance that at least lawyers are fighting back on fill-in-the-blank.
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Go get ‘em, kids! We’re winning as long as we’re fighting…
TFN creator and writer Jonathan Larsen co-created Up w/ Chris Hayes and wrote for Countdown with Keith Olbermann at MSNBC, helped launch CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360° and Air America Radio, and has also worked at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Young Turks.
Boston Terriers don’t have tails.
Its curious that such proponents of State's rights would casually set aside the State's role in managing federal elections.
"Former North Dakota Republican state Senator Ray Holmberg..." HOLY FUCKING SHIT.