Senate Republicans to Pledge Delta Tau

Trump's fraternity, ΔT, is hazing new pledges with gross loyalty tests

Nov. 18: Trump stands by Gaetz nomination because of course … Trump stands by Hegseth nomination because what part of hazing doesn’t the GOP understand … Biden expands Ukraine war … and says goodbye to the Amazon …

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Then-Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) with RePresident-elect Donald Trump, presumably at the Mar-a-Lago victory dance. (Matt Gaetz / Facebook apparently.)

There’s a reason fraternities and armies haze new members. Yes, fair, the hormonal will to dominate — for funsies! — is the impetus. But hazing persists because it’s a loyalty engine. It shuts down intellect that might fuck with loyalty.

That’s why hazing never involves math problems. The stupider the hazing ritual, the better it reveals willingness to disengage logical thought, the more it inculcates unthinking loyalty. Emphasis on un.

Pledges won’t question frat¹ leaders. Pledges do whatever vile, heinous thing they’re told to do. And they will never, ever enable accountability (aka ratting).

The stupider the hazing, the better to mark the limits to which you’ll go. The stupidity is the point.

The advantages transcend the pleasures of winning pledges’ unbound obedience. Onboarding recruits by offshutting their brains also prevents criticism, which frees the frat from having to do the work — e.g., thinking — of ensuring its decisions and management are … what’s the word I’m looking for? … good.

Which brings us to RePresident-elect Donald Trump.

Trump has told his ΔT pledge class of Senate Republicans to drink a potentially lethal amount of former Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) from an attorney-general-shaped mug. If they pass out or vomit, keep drinking. If they need medical assistance because they’ve taken in toxic amounts of Gaetz, keep drinking.

Similarly, Senate Republicans are going to have to gorge on Fox host Pete Hegseth as secretary of Defense and submit themselves to the ministrations of Health and Human Services Secretary Robert Kennedy.

As with so many male-dominated rituals, Trump’s hazing has succumbed to its homo-erotic undertones. Which, obviously, TFN supports as an ally.

Trump, for instance, reportedly finds Treasury contender Kevin Warsh, a former Federal Reserve Board governor, handsome. Hegseth’s look, too, is pleasing to Trump. Homo-erotic in a Christian nationalist-symbols kinda way.

The list of charlatans and clowns goes on, but dwelling on their inadequacies is unlikely to be super-productive. Even diligent Newsfuckers need not feel obliged to track Trump’s excuses for nominees. As TFN eternally laments, the issue is rarely the offense but our defenses against it.

So let’s consider the state of our checks and balances.

In true frat style, Trump is now forcing Republican senators to gather in a circle around the biscuits he’s brought, bond themselves to him with an intimate act of self-love, and then, whoever reaches their Trumpian climax last is going to have to eat that biscuit, no matter how hazmat it is.

HEGSETH

The media are going nuts over news that Hegseth paid off a woman to stop her from publicly accusing him of sexual assault, because I guess fear of a defamation suit failed to silence her. Which, weird!

Less covered is what Hegseth — or whomever Trump gets in at the Pentagon — is going to do to the United States military. 

NBC reports that the Trump transition team is looking at prosecuting top military officials for their role in the 2021 U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan. Charges of treason are on the table.

If carried out, this will obviously cripple the United States military institutionally. Which should warm any surviving hippie precincts of Newsfuckers’ hearts.

A weaker U.S. military could, in theory, lead to better outcomes around the world, more multilateral coalitions of defense, less American corporate hegemony and maybe even less climate change. That’s long-term. Near-term, it could have another salutary effect.

Prosecuting military leaders for obeying lawful orders sets a precedent that surviving military leaders will absolutely cite when refusing to follow unlawful orders of a one-term (in theory) president.

One downside, though. Any Afghanistan purge would likely thin the ranks of sane military officers. The military already has a major (ha) problem with Christian nationalist elements, and those elements would likely emerge more powerful at the end of all this. (Paging congressional Democrats reluctant to take on Christian nationalism.)

But Trump doesn’t care about your whole “future,” man. He wants an Oompa-Loompa and he wants it now.

So, of course Trump is standing by Hegseth. It doesn’t matter that Trump’s vetting was so shitty they didn’t know about the abuse lawsuit. Or that they didn’t consult the Senate. That just makes the nomination better. The worse the nominee, the better the hazing.

And there’s no point to hazing if you let the pledges negotiate the rituals. That negates the whole point: Blind obedience.

Trump’s goal is to clear out checks and balances where they’ll be most problematic and where he most wants to abuse presidential power. The only way to stop him is if another branch of government checks and/or balances him.

Which brings us to the United States Senate.

GAETZ

Typically, an incoming president might consult with Senate leaders to ensure they’re putting forward nominees with a chance at confirmation. Trump did not do this thing.

Here’s what a Trump advisor reportedly said about Trump’s CEO-quality process for vetting potential attorneys general:

“None of the attorneys had what Trump wants, and they didn’t talk like Gaetz,” the adviser said. “Everyone else looked at AG as if they were applying for a judicial appointment. They talked about their vaunted legal theories and constitutional bullshit. Gaetz was the only one who said, ‘Yeah, I’ll go over there and start cuttin’ fuckin’ heads.’”

Then there’s the fake, bullshit debate over the House Ethics Committee report on Gaetz, which — can’t stress this enough — is bullshit. Yes, the issue matters, but the coverage suggests that we need the report to assess Gaetz’s suitability. Which implies that what we already know isn’t already determinative.

Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) made headlines yesterday — and got presented as if he’s principled — by calling for the committee to release the report so the world can see the allegations that Gaetz raped a high-school girl. Which are allegations we already know about which is why they’re in the previous sentence.

Calling for the report is a way of signaling that what we already know about Gaetz isn’t disqualifying. Focusing on that report validates that implication.

Nevertheless, the media have been headlining all this talk of rebellion from Republican senators. Do what in a circle? Eat a biscuit covered in Gaetz and Hegseth? Fuck that!

NBC reported over the weekend that a majority of GOP senators doubt Gaetz will get confirmed. But the tell is that the only ones speaking publicly aren’t saying, “Fuck, no.” They’re saying the usual weasel shit about qualifications and concerns and “Boy will I have some questions for him!”

All of which, again, implies that what we already know isn’t disqualifying. Gonna have to do some research to puzzle out this particular quandary!

It’s all prelude to confirming Gaetz; planting fake evidence that they said early on they’d do their due diligence. Taking this hard line now makes it easier to obey Trump when it matters because they said at the outset that he’d be subject to due diligence.

And Democrats who can’t believe that Republicans will support Trump’s nominees might recall the phrase “Blue No Matter Who.” Republicans have just tweaked it: Yahoo No Matter Who.

Besides, we already know that most Republicans have no problem with hazing. Former Pres. George W. Bush defended burning pledges with cigarettes. I can’t find it online, but when I was at TYT we reported that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh’s school-days hijinx abuse looked a lot like hazing rituals. 

Meanwhile, where’s all the sturm und/or drang about Trump’s number-two pick at Justice? Trump wants to make his own attorney, Todd Blanche, the number-two person at the Justice Department, overseeing all federal prosecutors.

Ultimately, we don’t need to litigate these individual picks for a number of reasons:

• It won’t do any good

• The Senate will confirm them

• Trump will just go clownier if they’re rejected

We already knew the Senate might kneel before Trump … because they already have. If Trump gave a shit about Senate GOP response, he would’ve consulted with them before making his picks. He didn’t … and the Senate GOP didn’t do shit about it. Didn’t squawk publicly. Didn’t leak it.

When the nominee names go public, the best Republicans can do is publicly furrow brows and stroke chins and say no — but only anonymously. All of which is simply setting the stage for guzzling the grain alcohol or chomping that biscuit when the time comes.

We’ve already seen the biggest loyalty test. Trump wants the Senate to violate the (spirit of) the Constitution and let him appoint his nominees without Senate confirmation votes, in what’s called recess appointments.

Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) was reported over the weekend to have said “no recess appointments,” but the report was then deleted! And besides, McConnell won’t be in charge, new Sen. Leader John Thune (R-SD) will be. And what’s Thune say? 

All options are “on the table.” Translation: Can I get some gravy with my biscuit?

Biden Widens Ukraine War

If RePresident-elect Donald Trump hated Pres. Joe Biden’s drawdown in Afghanistan (that Trump ordered), he should love what Biden did with Ukraine yesterday.

For the first time, Biden is letting Ukraine use long-range U.S. missiles to strike targets inside Russia. Prior to now, the missiles have been shared with the proviso that they only be used against Russian troops inside Ukraine.

The green light for attacking Russia is just the latest loosening of U.S. restrictions since a big Russian offensive in May. The decision to okay missile attacks inside Russia reportedly came in response to Russia bringing in 10,000 North Korean troops. The new policy is meant as a signal to North Korea not to send any more. Even Biden hates imports!

Trump has suggested he’ll restrict U.S. aid to Ukraine. And/or use that threat to push for a peace deal that lets Russia keep all or some of the territory it controls.

With that in mind, presumably, the White House is racing to ensure that Ukraine’s missile range extends as far as Mar-a-Lago.

Biden First President, Possibly Last, to Visit Amazon Rainforest

Still-Pres. Joe Biden yesterday became the first sitting U.S. president to visit Brazil’s Amazon rainforest.

Biden didn’t say whether he was seeking political asylum or simply wanted to bid the rainforest goodbye. The rainforest is at least 55 million years old, and it’s unclear which will outlive the other.

Biden’s other — okay, real — purpose for visiting was to highlight how fucked we are by the climate change we’re causing. The contrast with RePresident-elect Donald Trump was obvious.

Helpfully, Trump made it obviouser. On the same day, Trump nominated a fracking executive — who doesn’t understand that climate change is real — to run the Department of Energy or at least do what Trump tells him to do because biscuit.

Biden said he’s leaving his successor (don’t say “Trump”) a “strong foundation” of policies to combat climate change. That’s not quite true, of course. Biden himself has boasted that America has never done more to fuck the climate produced more oil than it is now.

The foundation Biden’s referring to is his massive spending, paying companies to shift to renewable energy sources. There’s a lot of uncertainty over how much Trump can undo, and how much money Biden can get out the door before Trump slams it shut.

But to give you an idea of just how important it is to double-check what respected, mainstream media tell you, let’s look at how Biden’s remarks on this were reported.

Politico covered Biden’s remarks as Biden claiming there’s nothing Trump can do about Biden’s achievements. Here’s the headline:

Sorry, Politico, but all your savvy, sophisticated, Beltway-insider readers just got misinformed.

The story quotes Biden correctly, but without underscoring the headline’s wrongness or why the distinction is so important. Here’s what Biden actually said:

“...some may seek to la— deny or delay the clean-energy revolution that’s under way in America, but nobody, nobody can reverse it. Nobody.”

Biden didn’t say legislation or agenda, he said revolution. He’s talking about the fact that the entire business world is already shifting to renewable energy. That’s really true, really important, and not even Trump can reverse it.

This Democrat Has an In to Stay on Under Trump

NASA Administrator Bill Nelson, the former Florida Democratic senator, is now well poised to stay on under RePresident Donald Trump, the Jonathan Larsen Substack reported last night. 

Trump might choose someone else, and Nelson might opt to retire — he’s 82 years old. But if Nelson does want to stay, especially to realize his dream of returning astronauts to the moon in 2026, he now has two important allies.

Sen. John Thune (R-SD) is the next Senate majority leader. He’ll oversee confirmation rubber-stamping of Trump’s nominees. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) is Trump’s next secretary of state.

Both men are longtime friends of Nelson and prayer partners in the Fellowship Foundation. In fact, as I reported last night, Trump and Nelson had a good chat just weeks after his inauguration … backstage at the 2017 National Prayer Breakfast. What did they chat about?

Trump asked Nelson who should run NASA. 

(My report, with more details, is behind a paywall, so I hope folks will become paid subscribers to read it or even just to pat me on the head for spending my Sunday researching and writing it, but either way, here’s a secret gift linky-link to read it free, because we’re all Newsfuckers. Just please use the paywall link to share the story, which would make me happy.)

Three Quickies

• Ranked-choice voting helped give House Democrats a(nother) win in Maine on Friday. That will at least narrow Speaker Mike Johnson’s (R-LA) tight-as-Mike-Johnson’s-ass margin of control next year. Rep. Jared Golden’s (D-ME) has won thanks to ranked-choice voting before, but now his Republican opponent is asking for a recount, because Donald Trump warned prior to Election Day that Democrats would steal the election but only in Maine’s 2nd district.

• Y’know how Alaska’s all Republican and oil and freezing bros and shit? Yeah not so much! In the state House of Representatives, Republicans have lost majority control. Democrats haven’t replaced them, but they have assembled a coalition — because collective action wins — that does have a majority. That means Democrats will now control the Alaska state House.

• The debate about whether fighting for civil rights is optional when it comes to transgender people continues to roil the Democratic Party. And over the weekend, your always-working TFN researched who’s saying what — especially about which position the new Democratic National Committee chair should take — and pulled together the facts and reasoning required to make the case that Democrats can’t move forward by leaving people behind. (Yeah, that’s right, we worked Saturday, too!)

TCB

BONUS STORIES There’s a lot going on, and TFN is continuing to grow, so expect more content from TFN and the Jonathan Larsen Substack than just the weekday newsletters. (If you only want the weekday-morning newsletters, you can opt out of Bonus Stories here.) Our latest Bonus Story, TFN’s defense of transgender people on Saturday, led some readers to unsubscribe.

One wrote: “Sorry, you folks don't want to win elections.”

Au contraire, mon former Newsfucker! Democrats took forceful pro-LGBTQ+ in 2016 and 2020 and won the popular vote. Not so much in 2024, when they didn’t.

But also, who gives a shit? Do the right thing.

We’re going to continue surfacing reasons why Democrats need to fight for systemic economic upheaval and will do so most effectively when they insist that no one gets left behind. You can support TFN’s mission (or the accountability reporting at the JL Substack) with a donation or by becoming a paid subscriber to either.

I have tons more reporting coming. And just between us, I’ve gotten wind of some activism brewing on some of these issues. You’ll hear all about it here. Thanks for your support.

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TAPPING THE SIGN It is TFN’s editorial policy that the vast majority of Americans are not evil and didn’t suddenly decide to vote for evil. We just need to figure out how to awaken enough good to sideline the fuckheads. Despair is not an option.

Go get ‘em, kids.

1. I know, frat boys don’t like the word “frats.” I guess TFN isn’t woke enough to use their chosen proper nouns.