I Was Told Pardons Are Unifying
Biden definitively proves Republicans immune to unification power of pardons
Dec. 2: Biden pardons his son in Trump’s face … Pardoned Trump kin to be ambassador to France … Other Trump kin to be White House adviser … Wikler running for DNC chair …
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Still-President Joe Biden’s pardon yesterday of his son Hunter Biden, history’s greatest monster, is one of those stories that really doesn’t impact anyone directly and yet it’s the lead story of the New York Times, the Washington Post, and all the fucking news, including, apparently, The Fucking News.
We won’t insult you savvy Newsfuckers with the suggestion that the pardon will shape America’s politics going forward, which were pre-fucked either way. But the Hunter pardon does provide a useful case study of the undying claim that pardons are unifying.
In fact, up until yesterday there was tons of support for Biden to issue a pardon…for Trump.
Here’s CNN debating the purely hypothetical scenario because some producer thought it would be interesting and covering climate change is hard. The segment is even titled “Should Biden Pardon Trump?”
And — spoiler! — the answer was yes! At least, that was the answer1 according to this Washington Post opinion piece:
See that subheadline? The purpose of pardoning Trump is unity.
Never mind that pardons aren’t supposed to be used for political reasons, even noble-sounding-but-actually-toxic-bullshit reasons such as “unity.” They’re supposed to come only with acknowledgment of criminality, atonement, and attempts at recompense (not hanging Pence).
So, uh, where’s the unity, guys?
Politico reports that the Biden pardon is the most sweeping presidential pardon in half a century. Hunter is now protected against federal prosecution not just of the crimes for which he was convicted — but of anything he did in the decade leading up to yesterday.
Accidentally created Covid? Pardoned. Purposely created Covid? Pardoned. Did Oct. 7? Pardoned and immune from international prosecution because America.
So, who exactly got that previous, all-encompassing pardon 50 years ago for any crimes ever? That’d be Richard Milhous Nixon, our unatoning 37th president, of whose crimes Watergate was perhaps the least bombing-Cambodia-ish.
And the rationale for Pres. Gerald Ford to pardon Nixon was, of course, unity. Which Republicans lurved.
In fact, Republicans lurv presidential pardons so hard that, during that brief golden moment when it appeared we might get justice for Jan. 6, pretty much the entire starring cast of Only MAGA In the Building asked Trump to pardon their unrepentant criming asses:
And, yes, it’s true that Biden circumvented the usual Justice Department pardon-review process, but circumventing that process was the norm for Trump so maybe suck it?
And a big reason for the pardon process is to reward atonement. But they can’t say Hunter hasn’t acknowledged and publicly atoned for his misdeeds. So maybe suck it?
As your overly-pardon-obsessed TFN wrote back in May, Gov. Greg Abbott (R-TX) pardoned a guy who murdered an Air Force veteran. No atonement. No pardon process. No GOP outrage — they loved it.
Trump pardoned a sniper accused by Navy SEALs, Jesus’s favorite humans, of picking off Iraqi civilians for shits and war crimes. Oh, and of slashing the throat of a wounded, teenaged prisoner.
Trump pardoned/awarded clemency to two (2) of his 2016 campaign co-chairs, Steve Bannon and Paul Manafort. And his donors. (In fairness, Trump didn’t pardon everyone he could’ve, in fact, he—okay, that’s enough fairness.)
Trump also pardoned Charles Kushner, his son-in-law’s father (cousin-in-law?) and then literally the day before Hunter’s pardon, Trump said he’d make Kushner the ambassador to France. Arguably, hiring a sex worker to frame your sister’s husband feels pretty French, but that’s Kushner’s closest thing to an actual qualification for representing the U.S. to a nuclear-armed European power.
So at this point, maybe Biden should just say fuckit and double down, give his son a two-month stint as ambassador to, I dunno…Colombia? (Too soon?)
As Wajahat Ali wrote on Bluesky:
If Republicans had really wanted unity, they could have pushed Trump to pardon Hunter. And Trump could’ve said he would.
Instead, Trump vowed to use the Justice Department as a political tool to punish his enemies. Including Hunter.
Just the day before, Trump named unquestioning loyalist Kash Patel to run the FBI. He, too, has sworn to use federal law enforcement to go after Trump’s political enemies.
With this (unconstitutional) threat looming, how could Biden not pardon his son? The only question we should be asking now is the one your foresighted TFN posed last month: Why hasn’t Biden pre-emptively pardoned everyone else in Trump’s crosshairs?
For unity’s sake!
Okay, We Get It, But Was the Pardon Wrong, Because I’M NOT SURE HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS
Pres. Joe Biden and his White House communications team lied repeatedly about whether he would pardon his son, Hunter. Okay, “lied” is a strong word — it might have been absolutely true when they said it.
Still, grownups aren’t supposed to promise things they might not deliver. So, yeah, lying about the pardon was what the lawyers call an oopsy-doodle aforethought.
And did Biden perhaps pour fuel on RePresident-elect Donald Trump’s fire, motivating him to pardon more of the Jan. 6ers than he otherwise would have, freeing them to make the difference between the U.S. going full-fledged fascism? Maybe! But honestly with Trump who the dangling fuck ever knows?
And if it wasn’t the Hunter pardon, maybe something else would’ve set Trump off anyway. Mika Brzezinski’s outfit on Inauguration Day. Who the fuck knows.
What’s perhaps more troubling — although woefully overlooked including by TFN up until right now — are the claims Biden made to justify the pardon. Some excerpts that would’ve raised more eyebrows if cable news hadn’t already pinned those eyebrows to the studio lights:
“...selectively, and unfairly, prosecuted…
“It is clear that Hunter was treated differently…
“The charges in his cases came about only after several of my political opponents in Congress instigated them to attack me and oppose my election. … with a number of my political opponents in Congress taking credit for bringing political pressure on the [plea-bargain] process.
“...raw politics has infected this process and it led to a miscarriage of justice.”
So…you’re saying the Justice Department was…politicized? And this went on under Biden appointee Attorney General Merrick Garland? And we’re supposed to believe that political pressure had more impact on the Hunter case than on the Trump case(s)?!?
Basically, Biden said our criminal justice system is fucked. Which is not only a huge albeit metaphorical indictment of Garland, but also seems worth having done something about when you had a chance.
DNC Watch
The race to chair the Democratic National Committee (DNC) for the next four years is starting to take shape.
Wisconsin Democratic Party Chair Ben Wikler announced yesterday that he’s running for the position. I met Ben when we were both producers at Air America Radio — him for Al Franken and me for Morning Sedition, among others — but can’t say I know a lot about his politics, other than the obvious. I’ve always liked him, if that matters!
Wikler’s rhetoric isn’t quite the storm-the-castle messaging I’d squee to hear. But then again, the DNC’s job isn’t to advocate for specific policy or even philosophical approaches. It’d arguably be disqualifying if he were out there saying we need a Squad-type presidential candidate.
He told Semafor he believes Vice President Kamala Harris lost due to inflation, which I tend to see as only the first order of explanation. I think we need a DNC focused on secondary and third-order explanations, too. Why were voters so moved by inflation if their wages outpaced inflation?
If voters are believing dumb things, why?
What I do like is that Wikler is advocating for a different strategic approach than the swing-state focus that just failed. Specifically, he wants to fight across the entire space-time continuum, promising a “permanent nationwide campaign [competing in] state by state, low-profile battles that have enormous long-term consequences.”
That said, at the moment Democrats don’t have the ammo for those battles: A record to back up their claims that Republicans are the party of the rich. The rich have prospered under Democrats just as much, if not more. Democrats have signed or co-signed the legislation and deregulation that tipped the playing field like Jaws tipped the Orca.2
Until Democrats are campaigning on radically unraveling the inequitable system they helped build, a ton of voters won’t see any reason to support Democrats.
Obviously, the Wisconsin congressional delegation is endorsing Wikler. So is Robert Reich, which means something to me, for sure. And Reich makes a convincing argument that Wikler’s approach will fundamentally change the party. (h/t)
Right now, Reich argues, the DNC is a fundraising operation — catering to its richest donors:
That’s why the DNC cut Bernie Sanders off at the knees when he ran against Hillary Clinton in 2016. That’s why starting in the 1980s the party began turning its back on the working class.
Breaking the wealthy grasp on the DNC will (should) make the party responsive to the working class. And also people who aren’t working. Y’know…people. (Because “working class” is a fucked-up way to define people.)
The other DNC chair candidates are Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party Chair Ken Martin, former Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-MD), and New York State Sen. James Skoufis. We’ll focus on them going forward (i.e., after your homework-doing TFN does its homework).
The Association of State Democratic Committees meets this weekend and should provide some insights into the field of candidates and who’s supporting them. And why.
FWIW Writing for the New Republic last week, Public Citizen Senior Climate Policy Counsel Aaron Rugenberg made a mostly excellent case for why and how Democrats should put climate change at the forefront of their politics starting in 1988 1992 1996 2000 2004 2008 2012 2016 2024 now.
Two Quickies
RePresident-elect Donald Trump said he’s going to nominate Kash Patel to run the FBI. Like, said it out loud instead of just thought it before quickly tossing the thought into the terrifying pile of Hieronymus Bosch horrors that even Trump thinks shouldn’t be uttered aloud. Stay tuned for some new TFN reporting on Patel in 5…4…
Charles Kushner wasn’t the only in-law of RePresident-elect Donald Trump to get an appointment from the outlaw. Massad Boulos is the father-in-law of Trump’s daughter Tiffany, so obviously now he’ll be a presidential senior adviser on Arab and Middle Eastern affairs. Boulos helped the Trump campaign deceive Arab-American voters into thinking Trump will be better for Gaza than Vice President Kamala Harris would’ve been and appears to have some shady ties. So…qualified!
TFN Bonus Goodies
If you’ve been (understandably) checked out over the Thanksgiving break, you might’ve missed some prime newsfuckery slathered in progressive gravy and stuffed with secular, uh, stuffing:
Your diligent TFN reported — as virtually no corporate media did — that RePres.-elect Donald Trump’s claim that immigration from Mexico isn’t a problem anymore came just hours after Mexico announced his tariffs would kill an estimated 400,000 jobs…in America.
Your skeptical TFN reverse-engineered how transgender issues became a huge issue in the 2014 campaign — which matters a ton because how Democrats understand this will determine whether and how they stand up for other marginalized and persecuted people. Turns out, it wasn’t Fox that decided we should talk about this. It was CNN. And they were abetted by
Foxthe New York Times.Oh, and TFN also uncovered a 2005 report that suggests former Rep. Dave Weldon (R-FL) believes in intelligent design. Which might be really, really important since he’s going to be nominated to run the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the agency responsible for tracking how viruses and infectious bacteria evolve.
Also oh, your working-over-the-holiday TFN ALSO also uncovered how Weldon has a pattern of Christian extremism and religious rationales for policy … which he masks as political reasoning.
TCB
FUCKIN’ MERCH The best way to support TFN uncovering all this dirt, Christian extremist and otherwise, is with a donation or paid subscription.
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HOW COME NO ONE’S USING THE DISCOUNT CODE?
Newsfuckers are eligible for a 10% discount using the codeword: FINGNEWS10. It’s only good till Dec. 14, so don’t fuck the news without it!
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Go get ‘em, kids.
Disclosure: The Washington Post piece actually came first. TFN just thought it would be funnier this way. It doesn’t count as a lie if there’s disclosure!
Yes, you adorably nitpicky Newsfuckers, I know “Jaws” wasn’t the name of the shark, but “…Bruce tipped the Orca.” was never going to work.
Until Democrats are campaigning on radically unraveling the inequitable system they helped build, a ton of voters won’t see any reason to support Democrats.
This is the way.
Thanks for the stickers-done!
Anyone who thought Joe wouldn’t pardon Hunter is smoking better stuff than I’ve ever been able to get my hands on. And I’ve got access to some pretty excellent stuff.