In Praise of Outside Agitators
May 2: Protest lies … “Antisemitism” bill … Gaza relief … Child tax credit …
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New York City Mayor Eric Adams, a Democrat and former cop, has warned that “outside agitators” — “professional” and “well-trained” — including the wife of a convicted terrorist, have descended on Columbia University to “radicalize our children.” Oh noes.
The good news is that Adams was lying. Badly, in both the moral and qualitative sense.
The bad news is that the liar is the mayor. And it’s worth considering just how transparent his lies were.
First of all … professional agitators? What does this even mean? Is Adams aware what a tight job market we have right now? Where are HR’s agitation recruiters even finding applicants right now? Who the hell gets into the field of professional agitation, anyway? What’s it pay? Why aren’t this field and its related skills listed on LinkedIn? Are there vocational schools for this? What are the opportunities for advancement? Where do I see myself in five years? And as an unemployed journalist who currently needs a job (unless more people become paid subscribers!) … where do I apply?!?
So, what evidence did Adams offer? Did he identify by name a single one of these pros? Or a single employer of said professionals? Or the Indeed.com job listings? Tender Newsfucker, he did not.
Look on Adams’s evidence, ye mighty Newsfuckers, and despair:
Protesters used bike chains
Some protesters were “wearing all black”
Some protesters covered their faces.
First of all, congratulations to the august mayor for becoming Auguste Dupin. Secondly, congratulations to the former police officer for managing to using his keen powers of observation to detectify that no actual college student would ever have all-black clothes and a bike chain.
If “professional agitator” were an actual thing, wouldn’t the pros in this field have their own, specialized equipment and tools? Wouldn’t the local Agitator Supply Shoppe sell door-locking chains custom-designed for door-locking rather than for bike-protecting? It’s not as if Adams’s cops don’t give a shit about stolen bikes!
And, of course, there’s no possible reason a real protester would cover their face amidst a police presence. And it’s not as if pictures of their faces might be aired by right-wing or centrist or putatively left-wing media, jeopardizing their entire future careers (except as professional agitators, obvi).
It’s worth noting that all of this is just the a priori1 shredding of Adams’s lies! When you get all a posteriori2 on Adams, then his lies really fall apart.
In fact, Adams’s lies were so bad that they were recognized almost in real time by multiple media outlets — yes, even by media outlets!
CNN pressed Adams directly on his lies, leading to this headline in The Hill: “CNN host presses NYC mayor on claims of ‘outside agitators’ at student protests.”
Asked by CNN whether the NYPD would identify these agitation pros or even release a breakdown of how many protesters were innies vs. outies, Adams made more lie noises with his lie-generating face hole. He said the NYPD will give Columbia a list of those arrested and then offered the following lies in quick succession:
“The school will make the determination … of the difference between students and non-students.”
“They would have that authorization to do so.”
“We’re not going to release students’ names.”
Let’s defuck these lies in order, shall we? (We must have order!)
The NYPD has already made the determination of the difference between students and non-students, or how else could Adams make the claim that there were non-students? Unless he’s … lying?!?
Columbia, a private institution not subject to public-information laws, does not have more authority to issue information about those arrested than the actual police do.
The police are, in fact, going to release the students’ names because unless we’re talking about minors, police don’t get to arrest people in secret because this country isn’t a police state (that’s happening next week).
And the AP to their credit dug into Adams’s claim about the wife of a convicted terrorist showing up at the protest, a claim he made repeatedly yesterday.
Newsfuckers, meet Nahla Al-Arian! Her cover story is that she’s a retired elementary-school teacher. She’s 63, which means she’s just two years from collecting both her teacher’s pension and her Professional Agitator pension and retiring to a residential community where she will take up hobbies like agitating her fellow olds for free by hiding their Viagra and cheating at canasta.
In the past months, she has lost dozens of family members in the Israeli attacks on Gaza. So, during an April 25 trip to New York with her two daughters, she stopped by Columbia to see the protest. Without her professional bike chain.
She sat on the lawn and “felt happy to see those students fighting for justice for the oppressed people in Palestine,” she told the AP. “Then I was tired, so I left.” See, that’s a pro right there: Know when it’s time to take a break!
Al-Arian told the AP she not only didn’t agitate the protesters, she didn’t even influence them. Because she didn’t speak to them. “They are the ones who influenced me,” she said. “They are the ones who gave me hope that at last the Palestinian people can get some justice.”
And her husband? He was the worst kind of terrorist, the kind that appears to be a computer-science professor at the University of South Florida but is actually a leader of Islamic Jihad.
Unfortunately for Adams and/or his credibility and/or any extant shame he might still experience, Sami Al-Arian was not convicted of terrorism. He was that opposite thing of terrorism: Acquitted.
What he did plead guilty to was helping a relative who had alleged ties to Islamic Jihad to get…wanna guess? Sarin gas? Tactical nukes? The keys to Air Force One? You’re so close! He helped his relative get immigration benefits! Now that’s Six Sigma-style terrorist leadership for ya!
Oh, and wait til Fox finds out who helped him get away with his rogue immigrant-benefit-getting aiding and abetting. It was terrorist lawyer Jonathan Turley, now a Fox contributor.
“Outside agitator” is an effective phrase, even for politicians too stupid to think before they lie, because it plays on our bad, essentialist instincts. If the protesters are being influenced by “outside” (illegitimate) “agitators” (people who care more about agitating than the cause) then the protesters can be more easily dismissed because their motivations are less “real.”
And yet, this “reasoning” is bullshit of the same degree as Adams’s bullshit. Which is to say, much.
A protest’s legitimacy is strengthened if it inspires people from outside the community to come, join, and help. And, guess what: Pretty sure these kids were already agitated!
In fact, if I had to point at someone who definitely qualified as an outside agitator, I’d look at the armed people who literally came from outside the campus and absocoplutely agitated the shit out of people there, mentally, physically, and unlawfully.
As protest organizers, calling themselves Columbia University Apartheid Divest, said in a statement, they have the right “to include people from outside the Ivy League or the ivory tower in this global movement.” Fact-check: Yup.
The statement, however, falsely claims that “‘Outside agitator’ is a far right smear used to discredit coalition building and anti racism.” In fact, it’s not just a far-right smear, it’s also a smear used by radical centrists who deploy armed forces against students.
House Votes to Punish Free Speech
After years of decrying left-wing and progressive complaints about hate speech, House Republicans last night passed legislation that, if signed into law, could be used to punish students for exercising their remaining freedom of speech by criticizing the Israeli government.
The bill is the Antisemitism Awareness Act … ”awareness” being the formal term for “wokeness.” And it passed by an overwhelming, bipartisan majority, which is your patented TFN 🚨🚨🚨 alert!
The final vote last night was 320 in favor, including most House Democrats, 133 of them. Ninety-one House members voted against, including both Republicans and Democrats.
The bill would force the Dept. of Education to punish students or even entire schools for instances of antisemitism, according to an extremely broad definition of antisemitism that’s subject to abuse by bad-faith actors, such as much of the House Republican caucus, which is hellbent on using putative antisemitism as a cudgel against American colleges until they stop teaching kids how to think and learn.
The antisemitism definition comes from the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA):
“Antisemitism is a certain perception of Jews, which may be expressed as hatred toward Jews. Rhetorical and physical manifestations of antisemitism are directed toward Jewish or non-Jewish individuals and/or their property, toward Jewish community institutions and religious facilities.”
The real problem comes with the bill’s codification of IHRA examples of antisemitism, including:
Denying the Jewish people their right to self-determination, e.g., by claiming that the existence of a State of Israel is a racist endeavor.
Applying double standards by requiring of it a behavior not expected or demanded of any other democratic nation.
Drawing comparisons of contemporary Israeli policy to that of the Nazis.
Some of those are tricky, potentially lending themselves to misuse as barriers to criticizing the Israeli government. If Americans have one God-given right, it’s to call people they don’t like Nazis. Unfortunately, the bill doesn’t seem to incorporate the IHRA’s guidance that “criticism of Israel similar to that leveled against any other country cannot be regarded as antisemitic.”
Ironically, and just for funsies, it turns out the IHRA also has a definition of Holocaust denial, which includes a handful of things that might look pretty familiar if you made it about Palestinians:
Gross minimization of the number of the victims of the Holocaust in contradiction to reliable sources;
Attempts to blame the Jews for causing their own genocide.
The bill’s fate in the Senate is unclear. It was introduced in the House by Rep. Mike Lawler (R-OH), who last month was asked about D4FRFP3 Donald Trump’s latest antisemitic remarks, and literally waved off the question. It was also supported by House GOP leadership, including Majority Leader Steve Scalise (R-LA), still not living down his past associations with suspected antisemites the KKK. (h/t)
And it was co-sponsored by Rep. Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ), who has used anti-Arab and Islamophobic language such as calling Palestinian supporters “a cancer,” which is a fucked up and shitty thing to call any human being, and is definitely anti- whoever you’re referring to.
Gaza Relief Pier Set to Start Operations
A floating pier the U.S. is building off Gaza’s coast will be functional as early as this weekend, officials reportedly say.
Larger cargo ships can’t dock at Gaza due to the shallow waters off the coast. The floating pier will let the big vessels unload offshore, where smaller boats can shuttle much-needed supplies into Gaza to alleviate the starvation and dehydration caused by the other effort being aided by the U.S.: Israel’s assault on, sealing of, and throttling of Gaza.
The pier’s start date is expected to be announced tomorrow, meaning aid could start flowing in early next week, depending on weather and logistical issues such as whether Israel accidentally kills any of the people involved. U.S. military forces are being deployed to protect the pier and assist with operations, but will not venture onto the mainland, not even for a night of crazy shore leave.
Dems Press Schumer for Vote on Child Tax Credit Expansion
An expansion of the child tax credit that passed the House with a huge, bipartisan majority may not get a vote in the Senate this year. And don’t assume it’s the fault of Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY), even though that’s what my misleading headline implied.
The reason Schumer hasn’t brought the expansion up for a vote yet is because it’s not clear it’s got the votes to pass. And that’s the fault of Republicans.
It’s the fault, more precisely, of Sen. Mike Crapo (R-ID), the top Republican tax-cuts-for-rich-bros guy. Crapo says he supports expanding the child tax credit, but that the current bill helps parents too much.
The bill would let poor families qualify for a larger credit by using previous tax returns. That, Crapo says, would give poor families reason to stop working and still collect the larger credit. In other words, it’s yet another case of assuming that the working poor are inherently lazy and must be punished to keep them working. Even if blocking the bill keeps an estimated 400,000 children locked in poverty. Which it does.
Crapo opposes the bill even though it comes with the standard ransom payment of accompanying tax benefits for rich people, who apparently don’t need to be incentivized to work.
And even Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) thinks that’s bullshit. Referring to his own party’s opposition, Mullin says, “I think we need to call their bluff on it” and hold a vote.” Senate Finance Chair Ron Wyden (D-OR) is pressing Schumer for just that.
Mullin said, “I told Wyden to tell Schumer bring it to the floor. Make [Republican] people vote against the tax bill. I mean, when it comes time to actually make the vote, and you’re [a Republican who’s] going to vote against the tax bill? As Republicans? Let’s try that. Let’s see if you’re [a Republican who’s] really going to do that.”
One hitch: so far, Sen. GOP Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) is deferring to Crapo.
TCB
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Go get ‘em, kids…!
Before even looking into this shit.
Looking into this shit.
D4FRFP = Disgraced, quadicted, fraudster, rapist, former President.
Chuck Schumer evidently is unaware there is an election this year. Voting no could be used against you, not like it is unpopular among the electorate. Undoubtedly a stronger argument than "not Trump." Probably 90% of Senate only knows what their donors tell them, follow the money. Corruption is killing us and stands in the way of bills that help people and are popular with majority of people. We need more bills defining antisemitism, renaming post offices. Power to the students. Interestingly the police would be identified as outside agitators, at least they do mine.
Israel has been a terrorist state since its inception. It's an occupying force. The world turned a blind eye to the settlers throwing families out of their homes, kidnapping and raping women and girls and out right cold blooded murder for decades.