Judge Blocks First (of Many) Trump Orders
Reagan-appointed judge offers Trump free legal advice: Get better legal advice
Jan. 24: Judge slaps restraining order on Trump … Trump floats killing FEMA … Costco issues wholesale rejection of racism … The absolute best most satisfying god it’s so good reason ever that House Republicans didn’t subpoena texts about Jan. 6 …
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Well, that was fast. The rulings are here!1
An 83-year-old judge — appointed by Pres. Ronald Reagan even before Donald Trump became famous as a short-fingered vulgarian — yesterday became the first to shoot down a Trump2.0 executive order due to it being bullshit, or in legal terms, ad bullshit.
The judge, who seems like a longtime contrarian and skeptic of government cruelty and knee-jerk tough-on-crimery, is John Coughenour, senior judge of the Western District of Washington.
Four states — Arizona, Illinois, Oregon, and Washington — had sued the Trump administration, seeking a restraining order against Trump’s executive order pretending he can end birthright citizenship, the constitutional principle that if you’re born here you’re an American.
Coughenour yesterday issued the Trump restraining order (probably not Trump’s first time) and Trump said he’ll be appealing (probably Trump’s first time).
If carried out, Trump’s order — which was to have gone into effect Feb. 19 — would leave an estimated 150,000 children without the rights and benefits of citizenship; some would be stateless; and states would lose federal funding for programs tied to their population of citizens.
Justice Department attorney Brett Shumate — a veteran of President George W. Bush’s administration in case anyone still thinks the people doing Trump’s work aren’t the same Republican functionaries the party has had for years — argued that the 14th Amendment’s requirement that birth parents be subject to U.S. jurisdiction doesn’t apply to citizenship.
Coughenour pointed out that even undocumented immigrants are subject to U.S. laws while they’re here. So Shumate made some shit up.
“[They’re] subject to the jurisdiction with respect to the laws of this country, but not with respect to the citizenship clause of the 14th Amendment,” Shumate said make-up-ingly, adding the also-made-up, unexplained, never-before-existed exemption: “Citizenship is different.” Y’know: Because.
As the four plaintiff states argued, it has been the position of the Justice Department itself that Shumate is full of shit.
In 1995, Assistant Attorney General Walter Dellinger testified about possible legislation to deny some cases of birthright citizenship. In a prepared statement, Dellinger testified before Congress [bolding added for Shumating]:
A bill such as … the “Citizenship Reform Act of 1995,” that purports to deny citizenship by birth to persons born within the jurisdiction of this country is unconstitutional on its face. Second, the proposed constitutional amendments on this topic conflict with basic constitutional principles. To adopt such an amendment would not be technically unlawful, but it would flatly contradict our constitutional history and our constitutional traditions. Affirming the citizenship of African-Americans that Dred Scott had denied, in 1862 President [Abraham] Lincoln’s Attorney General wrote an opinion for the Secretary of the Treasury asserting “[a]s far as I know ... you and I have no better title to the citizenship which we enjoy than the ‘accident of birth’ — the fact that we happened to be born in the United States.” Today, in 1995, we cannot and should not try to solve the difficult problems illegal immigration poses by denying citizenship to persons whose claim to be recognized as Americans rests on the same constitutional footing as that of any natural-born citizen.
During yesterday’s proceeding, Coughenour appeared to experience a sudden and total loss of fucks to give.
“I’ve been on the bench for over four decades,” Coughenour told Shumate. “This is a blatantly unconstitutional order.” Gosh, all that legalese, who knows what he might mean!
Coughenour also suggested to Trump’s lawyer that perhaps Trump should hire some lawyers.
“Where were the lawyers when this decision was being made?” Coughenour asked Trump’s lawyer. “I have difficulty understanding how a member of the bar would state unequivocally that this is a constitutional order,” Coughenour said to Trump’s member of the bar.
There are five other lawsuits under way also challenging Trump’s illegal order.
MORE THOUGHTS The American Prospect’s Hassan Ali Kanu looks at the big picture of the birthright-citizenship issue.
Trump “Attorneys” Argue that Native Americans Are Neither
As part of Pres. Donald Trump’s argument against birthright citizenship, the Trump Justice Department claimed yesterday that Native Americans are neither if they’re born on sovereign tribal land.
“The United States’ connection with the children of illegal [sic] aliens and temporary visitors is weaker than its connection with members of Indian tribes. If the latter link is insufficient for birthright citizenship, the former certainly is,” Trump “attorneys” argued.
It’s true that there’s a history of legal combat over Native American citizenship. That history includes said combat ending. Hence, they do citizen shit like pay taxes and vote (for now).
As the Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson wrote, the Indian Citizenship Act of 1924 enshrined full citizenship rights for Native Americans, as even Trump lawyers should be able to figure out without even reading the law because it’s literally called the Indian Citizenship Act.
HISTORY’S NOT MYSTERIES “Birthright citizenship” is a perfect issue for folks who see racism in everything. Because it’s certainly the fuck here.
I touched just a tiny bit on the Civil War / Confederate bullshit origins of the 14th Amendment in yesterday’s TFN, but Robinson has a full-ass column deep-diving into it that your column-recommending TFN recommends. (Gift link because I love you.)
Federal Disaster Management Coverage Is a Disaster
On Wednesday night, Pres. Donald Trump was discussing the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) with a disaster-response specialist guy who talks on TV.
And Trump said he’d "rather see the states take care of their own problems.”
The “idea,” Trump said, was that states would handle prep and response, and the federal government could give them some funding after the fact. Unless they’re California.
This is clearly bad for many reasons. It means that Mississippi will, if it’s lucky, have only the 50th best disaster-response official overseeing their next flooding. It also surrenders the benefits of marshaling the resources of all 50 states where they’re most needed at any given time.
Right as disasters are getting worse thanks to the bipartisan accommodations given to climate change.
But also it means that state and local officials will be much better positioned to pillage local disaster funding and give it to their rich donors and friends. And not just in Florida.
As I will say forever and always, the biggest structural problem in America is the existence of states. I will brook no dispute on this.
And also, as with most right-wing de-governmenting proposals, We. Have. Already. Tried. Your. Dumb. Idea. Go home.
FEMA has only been with us since 1979. Why was it created? Because we tried it Trump’s way for 200 years.
When a series of big storms and disasters hit in the 1960s and 1970s, the response was led by in the hands of dozens of uncombobulated local and state officials and federal agencies.
The obvious remedy was to combobulate them. Hence FEMA. Now, Republican presidents don’t like running disaster relief, because they’re not good at it and didn’t get into this business to help people. See: Bush, George, Katrina upfucking thereof.
But there’s another disaster unrolling here. The media coverage.
At the risk of picking on the Times — (sorry, but TFN is a punch-up operation) — here’s their headline:
How many Democrats agree, you astute Newsfuckers ask? That’s an astute question!
Here’s the subhed:
Welp, there ya have it! Bipartisan consensus! Common flooded ground!
But WAIT! There’s more. The story itself doesn’t quite bear out the headlines. From the story: “The past four administrators of FEMA — two appointed by Democrats, and two appointed by Mr. Trump — have made versions of that argument, calling for states to do more.”
But, saying that states should do more — adoy — isn’t the same as the implication that the feds should do less; the impression clearly given by Trump and by the Times.
So let’s look at what those Democratic FEMA appointees actually say in the Times piece:
Mr. Trump may force states to take on a greater role.
“The gentle nudging hasn’t changed the outcome,” said Roy Wright, who held senior roles at FEMA during the Obama and first Trump administrations. “We need a different approach.”
Except Trump didn’t say jack or shit or jack-shit about forcing states to do jack or shit. He’s talking about letting them choose whether to, to weather the weather on their own and sink or swim when the floodwaters come.
“I love Oklahoma, but you know what? If they get hit with a tornado or something, let Oklahoma fix it,” Trump said. “Then the federal government can help them out with the money.” Unless they’re California.
And that quote from Obama official Wright suggests doing more to force state preparations, not letting them do as they wilt.
Totally omitted is the point that FEMA officials want states to do more because the federal government hasn’t empowered or funded FEMA to do more. FEMA obviously would require vast changes in zoning and construction rules if given the power. What those Democratic appointees are talking about is, in large part, the fact that stupid shithead states let people build anything anywhere.
FEMA can’t change that. But that’s not an argument to defund FEMA or power it down. If anything, it’s an argument for more robust federal rules and disaster response.
The Times makes it seem as though the FEMA veterans are talking about the same issues Trump is. They’re not. The Guardian gets it right, quoting FEMA veterans and other disaster experts on the disaster Trump’s vision would create.
TODAY Trump is visiting North Carolina and California. Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA) says he’ll be on the tarmac waiting for Trump’s plane to strafe him from the air.
Costco Gives Special Offer to Racists on 98-Count Pack of Fuck the Fuck Off™
Costco shareholders voted yesterday to tell racists to fuck all the way off.
Some corporations are dismantling diversity and inclusion initiatives because they see Pres. Donald Trump doing it and they’re rich executives so they don’t have the brains or integrity to think for themselves.
And racist right-wing think tanks — funded by racist right-wingers who fund think tanks to think of things that sound like reasons justifying their feelings — have been filing shareholder proposals with a range of companies to kill diversity programs and make their anonymous funders feel better about how they got their our money.
That’s what the National [sic] Center for Public [sic] Policy [ha! sic] Research [haaa! sic] did, filing a shareholder proposal that Costco end its diversity intiatives.
Over the holidays, the Costco board of directors issued its recommendation for how shareholders ought to vote on the anti-diversity proposal. To the board’s credit, they unanimously recommended that shareholders vote to tell the racists to fuck all the way off and also suck it.
The shareholder vote was yesterday and, ironically, it was almost as undiverse as the board recommendation: More than 98% of shareholders voted to reject the racists.
"The fact that 98% of investors voted against the proposal shows that almost all investors are not buying what the anti-ESG [Environmental, Social, Governance] and anti-DEI [Diversity, Equity, Inclusion] organizations are selling," Trillium Asset Management Chief Advocacy Officer Jonas Kron told Axios.
"It's also a strong indication that all the media reports of the death of DEI and ESG are way overblown," Kron said. "The investing community clearly understands the importance and value of these ESG and DEI approaches and are ready to express that through their votes."
Trump Orders End to Remote Government Work
Federal agencies have until tonight to change their office policies to get rid of remote work — except for the military, which would benefit the most. Pres. Donald Trump’s order doesn’t appear to be a universal dicktate, as it makes exemptions for union contracts and lets agency directors determine others.
Federal employees, of whom there are currently more than two million, will have 30 days to comply with whatever their agencies decide.
The order could cost the federal government hundreds of thousands of workers, which might be a case of feature vs. bug. But even Trump wants enough government workers left for him to give orders to — and some of the people he’s about to lose might in theory have been useful to him.
More to the point, though, Trump & Co. are ostensibly all about saving money. And here they are, giving up free office space in people’s homes. According to the Washington Post, the order will create a need for more office space. Which costs money!
And there may be other, unintended consequences, as well. Now that Elon Musk will officially be working for the government, surgeons will have to carefully divide him into six pieces and ship them off to the companies where he allegedly works.
Trump to Release MLK, JFK, and RFK Assassination Records
As soon as today, the public might see the first of the government’s unreleased files on the three assassinations that changed America forever in the span of five mindfucking, you-thought-we-have-it-bad years. The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Sen. Robert F. Kennedy (D-NY) Jesus it’s so nice not to write “Jr.” there for once were shot down just two months apart in 1968.
Pres. Donald Trump ordered the record releases yesterday. Good.
Democrats should have done this long ago, including Democratic presidents ranging from Joe Biden all the way back to John F. Kennedy Lyndon Johnson.
Unless we find out that the CIA paid the Mafia to rub out all three of them, I suspect the likely takeaway will mostly be a stain on the record of every president who kept this stuff secret. Including Trump1.0, let us not forget.
Four Quickies
Sens. Susan Collins (R-ME) and Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) in a procedural vote yesterday voted against having former Fox co-host, anti-Muslim, Christian nationalist, credibly accused sexual abuser, and apparently current alcoholic Pete Hegseth in charge of the United States military. Bold stance! We found out yesterday that Hegseth paid his accuser $50,000 to keep quiet, the way one typically pays people $50,000 not to say something false that they could be sued for it it’s false. Hegseth will likely be confirmed tonight or this weekend.
Pres. Donald Trump’s vain, ill-equipped War on The Amendments is expanding. Already failing in his forays against The Fightin’ 14th and The Tenacious 10th, Trump is now taking on the Eighth Amendment. A new Trump order would put transgender women into men’s prisons and transgender men into women’s prisons — and deny gender-affirming care to both. That’s a violation of the Eighth Amendment, which has been interpreted as classifying denial of medical care as cruel and unusual punishment.
Some Trump directives merely violate laws rather than amendments. Here’s one! Trump has ordered the Pentagon to (possibly) shut down its Civilian Protection Center of Excellence, an office tasked with minimizing civilian casualties. Slight hiccup: The office was mandated by law in 2023, but could still become a casualty of Trump’s lack of excellence.
If TFN weren’t so gosh-darn high-minded in its journalistic principles, this’d be our lead story today. The Washington Post found out that an aide to Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) advised against subpoenaing the communications of former Trump White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson — BECAUSE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS SENT HER TEXTS TRYING TO FUCK HER. The bullshit House committee targeting folks who investigated the Jan. 6, 2021, attack wanted to subpoena her texts, because she was a key witness that Trump was gung-ho about attacking the Capitol. But a Johnson aide told the committee that multiple members told Johnson they were worried about “sexual texts from members who were trying to engage in sexual favors.” That’s right, the members texted about their members and then asked Johnson to protect their johnsons.
Recommended Reading
Some thoughts on elements of political opposition, from the Timothy Snyder Substack. (h/t)
At the risk of shocking you sensitive Newsfuckers, David Brooks of the New York Times is not exactly must-read material here at Chez Newsfucking. Not even when we’re craving a hate buzz. But his column yesterday nicely echoes a point I made yesterday while being interviewed2 about TFN: That these periods of brainless governance and (seeming) popular madness are short-lived. (Gift link because I love you.) Brooks actually marshals some historic evidence for this argument that I hope folks will find encouraging. It’s always Trumpest before the daocwn!
TCB
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Go get ‘em, kids! Day five and we’re still here, notching up the first victories.
That’s a little Easter Egg callback to yesterday’s TFN, which started, “Well, that was fast. The lawsuits are here!” You’re welcome.
Like how I dropped that in there?
I am, obviously, mortified that I left a stray "Robert" in front of Martin Luther King's name in the emailed version of today's TFN. Mea culpa. Sorry about that!
Great fucking run down