No, Jack Smith Didn’t Kill the Trump Case (He Saved It)
The prosecution of Donald Trump couldn't be resurrected unless it died first
Nov. 26: Smith protects the case against Trump … Trump vows tariffs on day one … DNC sets date for party elections … the Word of the Year …
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Yes, technically Justice Department (DOJ) special counsel Jack Smith yesterday killed the case of The People vs. That Fuckin’ Asshole. But only in the same way Darth Vader killed Obi-Wan Kenobe. (No spoilers!)
No, the media aren’t wrong reporting that Smith asked a judge to dismiss both the attempted presidency-theft case and the whole those-aren’t-your-documents case. But we knew these cases were mort the moment Trump won re-election.
The question was, how mort?
The real news here is that Smith requested the cases be dismissed without prejudice. Which preserves the ability to revive them in the future. Like, when Trump leaves office in 2032 or whenever.
Judge Tanya Chutkan quickly and briefly approved Smith’s request on the presidency-stealing charge.
In the documents case, Trump-appointed and -lurving Judge Aileen Cannon hasn’t ruled yet, presumably because she’s looking for as much prejudice as she can find to add to the dismissal. Dismissing charges with prejudice basically means “This case was so bad it can never walk the face of the Earth again.”
Smith had three options with these cases:
1-2: Seek dismissals with/without prejudice
3: Keep prosecuting them
Smith couldn’t keep prosecuting them because Trump would kill them both the second he puts his hand on The Bible on Jan. 20, 2025, and lies before God and Jesus and the Council of Nicea about upholding the Constitution. But also, more importantly, the Justice Department’s own rules don’t allow the prosecution of a sitting president.
And in case you were feeling spiffy and happy about this story so far, let’s harsh that buzz with some rage, shall we?
Democratic-appointed Attorney General Merrick Garland had four years — years — in which the DOJ could’ve issued new policy guidance establishing that, yes, of course the previous DOJ rules against prosecuting presidents — which didn’t exist for most of our history — are garbage and presidents should be prosecuted automatically just on the assumption we’ll eventually find something criminal they did that no one knew about. Like arming a nation committing war crimes, say.
And nothing in Smith’s filing — or the stupid-ass DOJ rule, or even the stupider-ass Supreme Court ruling of (some) presidential immunity — bars future prosecution. In fact, they all imply it’s an option because all the kindergarten-level president worship in the ruling is based on the (bullshit) notion that presidential protection is required due to the unique nature of the job.
Once Trump’s out of the/a job, none of those reasons for legal immunity apply. Which means prosecutors can fuck with him the same way they can fuck with neuro-surgeons, submarine captains, the nice folks who turn the nuclear-missile keys, cab drivers, coal miners, daycare workers, social workers, most workers, and everyone else whose jobs are harder than the job that’s literally easy enough that it’s been done by Ronald W(ilson) Reagan, George W(alker) Bush, and Donald J(ucking) Trump.
What Smith did was the best and only way to remove the cases from Trump’s reach. He hibernated them. Trump can’t kill the presidency-stealing case now because it doesn’t exist. But future prosecutors are now free to upload new charges via their neural links in whatever court has jurisdiction by the time Trump leaves office and the sea has swallowed Washington.
Now, let’s indulge your inner terrified cynic for a moment, shall we?
“Couldn’t Attorney General Pam Bondi (get used to it) just refile the charges so she can dismiss them WITH prejudice?”
In theory, sure, but (a) you’d have to get a grand jury to go along with the scheme and (b) a judge would have to sign off. Neither are sure things.
Plus, it would shatter the DOJ precedent of presidential immunity. And Trump needs that for his future crimes!
Because Trump more than anyone understands how fragile his hold on the system is. He’s got two years until he faces yet another voter backlash that upends Congress. In fact, there’s already a giant crack racing through the foundation even now…
Giant Tortoise-Shaped Rebellion Taking Shape
If the U.S. Senate had term limits, we’d have some nihilistic, Andrew Tate-wanking, motherfucking, outlet-poking, stove-touching, eclipse-staring, beach-without-sunscreen-going, man-child MAGA hero in the seat now held by Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY).
TFN knows how you feel about McConnell, Newsfuckers. Because TFN’s all about the empathy. But that was GOP leader McConnell. In the next Senate, he’s no longer leader.
And the New York Times reports, in slightly different words, that McConnell’s all out of fucks to give. As non-leader, McConnell can act exactly as he would act on principle if he had one.
He doesn’t have to toe anyone’s line. Including RePresident Donald Trump’s. The Times reports that McConnell feels “liberated” in his new role, and is “choosing to focus on issues that could put him at odds with Mr. Trump.”
McConnell’s one vote doesn’t matter as much as the safe space he can create for other Trump rebels. Space that could, in theory, prevent Trump from simply steamrolling the Senate.
MAGA wanted Sen. Rick Scott (R-FL) as Senate leader to eat whatever Poop Stroganoff Trump felt like serving. Instead, the new GOP leader, Sen. John Thune (R-SD), is an institutionalist, likely to defend Senate autonomy and its Constitutional roles.
Publicly, McConnell has pledged, “I will do everything I can to help the new administration be successful.” Which is like a politician anyone saying they’ll help their boss be successful (meaning they’ll try to thwart the boss’s self-destructive idiocy). And it certainly doesn’t preclude a McConnebellion™.
So get ready, folks. Former Rep. Liz Cheney (R-WY) is out. Bitch McConnell is in.
Trump to Impose Tariffs on Day One, Learn About Tariffs Later on Day One
RePresident-elect Donald Trump yesterday said that on day one of his represidency, he’ll sign whatever papers are necessary — he didn’t sound too read-in on the process — to impose immediate new tariffs:
25% on products imported through Canada or Mexico
10% more on Chinese imports.
Specifically, Trump vowed, “we will be charging China an additional 10% Tariff, above any additional Tariffs,” which, if I have my recursive math right about charging an additional tariff on any additional tariffs, equals infinity.
The reason for the Canada and Mexico tariffs is to punish those countries for fentanyl and immigrants coming into the U.S.
Which is like…well, nothing. Ever. It’s like nothing, analogy-loving Newsfuckers!
Just for clarity’s sake, though, let’s address how Americans are finding out about this. Here’s the New York Times and Washington Post:
In tariff-speak, they’re not wrong. But to layfolks, these headlines make it sound as if the countries pay someanything. Countries pay nothing. The companies importing the goods into the U.S. pay the tariffs. And the reason they can afford to pay the tariff is they raise prices on consumers, which you can’t spell without U.S.
And that could cause an economic meltdown. Republican presidents typically take a few years before fucking up badly enough to tank the global economy, but Trump could be on the verge of an historic fast-tracking.
In fact, even congressional Republicans are worried.
Rep. Adrian Smith (R-NE) told Semafor that Trump’s tariff plan “could spike inflation and not really help grow domestic manufacturing. It does not seem particularly well thought out.” How dare you, sir? This is Donald Trump we’re talking about!
Of course, your yule-loving TFN has reported before on how the holiday season is already getting grinched by these tariffs — and providing a brutal lesson in economics to workers who voted for Trump and thought other countries somehow magically pay money to export goods.
Shoutout to Politico for getting it more accuratelier:
As Canada pointed out not too subtly — especially for Canada! — they buy more American goods than the U.K., China, Japan, and France combined. Which can stop overnight if Canada counter-tariffs.
Plus, the U.S. gets 60% of its imported oil products from Canada. A record 4.3 million barrels daily in July. Trump would never raise the price of gas, would he?
(Sweet Newsfucker, Trump negotiated the largest production cut in history for the explicit purpose of keeping oil prices high enough to help Big Oil.)
Is there a chance this is all talk? It is Trump, after all. And Wall Street bros seem to be telling themselves it’s all talk. Genius negotiating, even.
Kieran Calder of Union Bancaire Privee in Singapore told Bloomberg, “This is President Trump’s negotiating style: step one, punch in the face, step two, let’s negotiate.”
But, uh, how exactly are Mexico and Canada supposed to negotiate the amount of drugs and humans crossing the border illegally? Mexico already agreed to Pres. Joe Biden’s requests, which is what led to the big plummet in crossings this summer.
That said, it’s a fun way to get other countries to turn on each other (regardless of whether that’s a good thing). Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has already called Trump to say, “I didn’t do it!” Or, as Bloomberg put it, “Trudeau pointed out to Trump that the number of migrants who cross the Canadian border into the US is minuscule1 compared to those who cross from Mexico.”
So now what? If other countries are supposed to police border drug crossings better, maybe Trump should’ve just slapped a tariff on fentanyl!
OTOH Targeted tariffs can be a net economic boon. Hence, the existence of tariffs. It seems unlikely that Trump is throwing a wide net now as a negotiating tactic, but before we get too smug — it’s too late for TFN, but save yourselves! — keep in mind that Trump could very easily scale these tariffs down for, potentially, dramatic impact on some industries.
The Most Important Election of Our Lifetimes Starting Now and Until the Next One
The Democratic National Committee (DNC) — the governing body of the Democratic Party and the folks who somehow are 1 for 3 when it comes to convincing America they’re better than Donald Trump — will elect its new officers on Feb. 1, 2025.
Who leads the DNC going forward will likely reveal and determine who’s running this traveling sideshow/art fair/marketing debacle for the next four years. If donors are pulling the strings, we’re re-cooked. If enough grassroots folks speak up before the vote — and let DNC delegates know they’re watching — there’s a chance for real change.
But the Feb. 1, 2025, elections could be predetermined, or at least circumscribed, as soon as Dec. 12, 2024. That’s the date of the pre-most important election of our lifetimes, when the DNC rules committee votes on election guidelines to recommend to the full DNC, which will then vote on them before the elections themselves.
Semafor reports that to run for chair, candidates need the endorsement of at least 40 of the DNC’s 448 voting members. So right away the field is narrowed by fucking math.
Ken Martin, chair of the Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, says he’s already got more than 100 members backing him. Former Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-MD) is also in the running to be in the running.
Other possible candidates include Wisconsin Democratic Chair Ben Wikler2 and Rahm Emanuel, former chief of staff to President Barack Obama and current embodiment of all that is evil and wrong. Emanuel has floated his possible interest in running, if only to make the inevitable corporatist, stay-the-course figurehead look good by comparison.
The DNC will host four forums in January for the candidates. But the time to pay attention is now. So, who’s got a list of the Rules Committee members…?
Word of the Year
Longtime Newsfuckers know of TFN’s fondness for the fiction and non-fiction of writer Cory Doctorow. Well, a word he coined in 2022 has just been dubbed by someone as the word of the year for 2024:
en-shit’-uh-fi-kay-shuhn
“Enshittification” refers to how modern, deregulated capitalism incentivizes the degradation in quality of a product or service, especially in tech.
Basically it’s a product’s shift from winning over an audience to exploiting them. Like boyfriends!
Enshittification can also be applied more broadly. Like to democracy.
Two Quickies
Ob-gyns are leaving Texas.
Texas remains the top destination state for people who are moving, but California is a close second, with more than 9% of all the people moving this year heading for California.
TCB
CHEER UP! No matter who’s president, bad things happen in the world. Should we never be happy? Instead, we can honor the policy at the forefront of Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign: Joy.
Remember, the reason Newsfuckers opposed Donald Trump is that he is bad at thing-doing. The next two years are going to be one long lesson of toldjasos and schadenfreude.
Yes, there’s work to do. Democrats fought a movement with a campaign. We need a movement. That takes work!
SOCIAL-ISM Come find us on your social media of choice. We’re on Bluesky, Threads, Instagram, Facebook, Mastodon, and Spoutible.
Go get ‘em, kids.
Jesus Christ, TFN loves when they spell “minuscule” correctly.
Disclosure: I know the guy.
What's the first thing i do after reading this blog? Scroll up to see what the footnotes refer to, of course! Who's with me?
Tariffs exist for only two reasons: *low* tariffs to act as sales taxes for general revenue, or *high* tariffs to *PROTECT* an existing domestic supplier (agriculture or manufacture). They don't magically, instantly, *create* any new businesses to make up the lost supply